Another Chance Cafe
by FranchiseSaysSo
Summary: Boy meets Girl and tries to deal with the demons from a past relationship at the same time.  Something for everyone.
1. Chapter 1 to 3

She walked past me and her perfume trailed behind her like an invisible scented scarf. I couldn't help but follow the aroma like a trail of bed crumbs. She sat down at a small table at the café where we had both chosen to spend our afternoon. Usually the terribly timid one, I somehow found the courage to try to speak to her from a place somewhere within me that I have never visited before. I crossed the small and very quaint but very inviting coffee shop as I slowly…very slowly, but very surely walked over to her. The smell that came from the kitchen was relaxing but was nothing compared to the scent that she was emitting. As I approached her table, I noticed that she was writing something on a pad. Looked like a series of lines, kind of like a paragraph but not quite, and they all rhymed with each other. Then it hit me that she was writing poetry. "Duh!" It seemed that her perfume had caused me to lose my common sense along with my fear of talking to girls.

Suddenly realizing that a strange man was standing behind her, she slowly turned around. It was then that I noticed her shiny black hair about shoulder length and it seemed to drift more of her perfume toward me as she turned. Her brown eyes sparkled up at me and my voice got caught somewhere between my chest and the back of my throat. Taken back would be an understatement at this point. She stared up at me with one of those, "Can I help you?" glares. Before she could actually ask with her mouth, I answered her glare with a feeble attempt at a charming response. "Uh, hi" I know, I know, very far from charming but it's what I had at the moment. She replied back with another "Hi" and I couldn't help but just stare at her for a moment. She was like a fantasy that I never knew I had. Looking at her, I felt like life itself was possible. Like without all the trials and tribulations and difficult stuff.

Snapping out of my daydream, I realized I had been staring at her for quite some time without saying a word. Surprisingly, she was still looking back but her glare was getting increasingly impatient. Quickly I responded again with another "Hi" but this time I added my name afterwards and asked her if she came to the café often. Yeah, I understand not the most original question when trying to talk to a beautiful female who you sure would never give you the time of day even if you paid her but again it's what I had. Apparently thinking something similar she smiled at my question and replied with a "Yes". She then stated that her name was Shea she has never seen me in here before. I told her that I was new in the area and this was my first time in this particular café. I also told her it was weird because coffee always makes me sick but figured I would try a latte and risk my health. She giggled at my lame excuse for a joke and asked me to have a seat. Her smile was brighter than the sunlight that sparkled off of her hair to say the least.

As I sat down, I took the opportunity to notice the rest of her. Much more than merely just checking her out, I looked about her as if she were not human but as if she was a priceless work of art freshly created not even ready for the showroom quite yet. I realize comparing her to an inanimate object is not always flattering to women but this is what she reminded me of. She was light-skinned, almost silky looking. Before she sat, I noticed her body was curvy, not extremely skinny but healthy looking. But above all else, it was her smile that left a lasting impression in my memory. It was like a little person who lives in my brain used an even littler digital camera to take the most perfect picture of her that had ever been taken in the history of pictures of people.

The ensuing conversation between us was a very nice one. We exchanged tales of how we came to be and found out little things that we had in common. She shared her poetry with me, which turned out to be really good and I'm not just saying that. It was actually good; it spoke to me for some reason. Yeah, maybe her being breathtakingly gorgeous and smelling like a Bath and Body Works had something to do with it but it was some pretty creative work. The one she was currently working on spoke about some of the tough decisions she had to make during her life and I was able to relate. I don't know exactly how much time went by but it was beginning to get dark outside so we exchanged numbers and parted ways. I couldn't help but watch her walk away. I know what you're thinking but I wasn't staring at that, although it was very nice, that wasn't what I was looking at. Unexpectedly, she turned around and caught me looking at her and much to my delight, she smiled. I continued to look on silently as she continued to walk away. I continued looking hoping that I didn't manage to screw this up somehow. Hoping that one day we would be walking away together.

_To be continued…_

I decided to wait a couple of days before giving in to the burning desire to punch in the combination of numbers that she had written down on a coffee napkin into my cell phone. I dared not even program her name into it for fear that I may be jumping the gun on our non-relationship somehow. Try as I might to not think too much about her after our chance meeting because I didn't want to feel like a stalker, I could not. As a matter of fact, it felt like the harder I tried to delete that photo on the digital camera that the little person who lived in my head took, the more copies it made. Why am I so nervous? I've called girls on the phone before. Sure, I've always been a little apprehensive about that first phone conversation but this was on another level. I felt like it should be a piece of cake being that we had already sat and chatted in person. That is supposed to be the hard part, not talking on the phone.

I kept thinking that I forgot to smoothly slip in a question about her having a boyfriend or anyone who might fit the description of a significant other. But I kept reassuring myself that if she did, then she would have put that out there. You know, to make it clear that I had no chance. She probably wouldn't even have asked me to sit down. That's a pretty big, well, decent size step in the right direction, right? Yeah, it had to be. When I finally stopped acting like a seventh grader, I decided that the time was right. It had finally arrived, the moment when I pushed those certain numbers on my keypad and hit the talk button. As I listened to the phone ring, I half-heartedly kind of hoped that she didn't pick up.

*_ring-ring*_

I began to look forward to her voicemail answering because, well, other than the fact of me feeling like chickening out, I'm an ace at leaving messages.

_*ring-ring*_

If you need a message left, I'm your man.

_*ring-ring*_

I am a message-leaving connoisseur.

_*ring-ring*_

Nobody can leave a good message like yours truly…

*_ring*..._"Hello".

Even though I was thinking them to myself, I nearly choked on my words when I heard her voice. She almost sounded like a stranger to me, like I was hearing her speak for the first time again.

"Hello?"

…Realizing that I better say something before she decides to hang up, I spoke up and answered with a pretty pathetic sounding,

"Uh...Hi Shea, its Patrick, remember from the café?"

Partly expecting her to say no, I tried to prepare a clever joke at reminding her how we met. _Yeah, remember me? I was the guy that you were probably thinking of upper cutting because I was staring at the back of your head._ Ok, a not so clever joke then.

"Oh Hi! How are you? I was beginning to wonder when you were going to call."

Surprised and quite happy at her delighted response, I couldn't stop a pretty serious smile from spreading across my face. It was like my mouth had a mind of its own and wanted to show the entire world how I was feeling. Luckily the entire world at that moment consisted of me, my furniture, and the emptiness of my refrigerator.

"I'm good, just hanging out at home and figured I'd give you a call, how ya been?"

Can you tell how hard I'm trying not to sound like she had just made my entire month by simply answering her phone and remembering who I was?

"Well I'm glad you called, I've been pretty good, nothing special. You know, working and writing"

I'm going to take this moment to apologize for my constant admiration of all things Shea, but listening to her voice alone brightened up my day. Not saying that my day was sucky or anything like that, but it wasn't like anything significant happened to me that day. You know, pretty much your average weekday. Work, gym, some television, a little Xbox, nothing out of the ordinary. But hearing her speak made the entire day feel like a significant event had taken place. Ok, I'll try to hold back on the excess mushy stuff from now on but I can't make any promises. It's all her fault.

"That's good, so what are you writing about this time around?", I responded.

"Oh, just another poem, it's how I vent and deal with life. This one is about my grandmother. She passed away when I was a young age so I never really got to know her but I wish I did", she said.

"Well, I'm sorry to hear that; how old were you when she died?"

"Thanks, I was around three, so of course I don't remember any of it but from what my mother tells me about her, I feel like we would have been very close"

I said, "Yeah, I know what you mean. I have an uncle who passed away and I didn't really know him either but I think if I did, we'd of been good friends"

I was beginning to feel like Wow!, we are having yet another meaningful and fulfilling conversation. This would make it 2-for-2, but who's counting? Surely not me. We continued to talk for about two hours that night. Finally looking at the time, I noticed it was a little after ten and although I could have willingly continued to talk with her, I didn't want to exhaust all of our topics to speak about in one sitting. So I casually suggested (yeah, that's right, I can be casual) that we should get some rest so we'll have enough energy to talk again tomorrow evening. She said that she would like that and that she would look forward to it. We ended the call with a "Bye" and a "Good night Patrick". She said those last three words with a certain sweetness in her voice. It sounded heavenly, almost nostalgic.

Feeling like a very heavy sack of nervous bricks had been removed off of my shoulders, I felt like it was ok to program her number into my phone. Still trying to not get ahead of myself too much, I quickly closed out of my call log so as to not risk me staring at her name in it. Yes, I am a sap, we have already established this. Don't judge me. I clicked on the T.V. and turned it to Sports Center for two reasons. 1. I had missed the game because I was talking to a lovely young lady on the phone for the last two hours. 2. Concentrating on sports might help me to not concentrate on her, well not too much anyway. I decided I was going to try to take this one slow. I didn't know what she was thinking, although I did wonder, and I didn't know if she was considering me to be boyfriend material. She had to, a least a little bit, because that's how females operate. They run you through a boyfriend candidate database based on their strict criteria and decide in a matter of nano-seconds if you would fit into their lives or not. Not a bad thing really, actually pretty effective although not always efficient. But I wondered if I had been put through her database that day back in the café.

I shut my thoughts off and allowed the highlights from the day in sports to put me to sleep. Hoping that nightmares from my past regarding the opposite sex didn't replace the dreams that I hoped to have. Dreams that would surely be filled with Shea. Still remembering what she smelled like the first day I staggered over to her, I drifted off wondering about another chance. Another chance at happiness. Another chance at having a woman who actually likes me. Another chance, another chance, the two words lingered in my sub-conscious like the smell of Shea's perfume lingered in my nostrils. Yes, it has been two days, but I still remember what it smells like. Another chance, I guess we shall see.

_To be continued…_

The next day was a blur, literally. I truthfully cannot remember what I did. From waking up to showering to working to hitting the gym to eating a quick dinner, it seemed to go by so quick. At the same time, it went by ever so slow. Some points about it dragged on like they would never end. One of those days that you simply cannot wait to be over for whatever reason. But I had a reason, that reason was a certain phone call that I was looking forward to like a kid on Christmas morning. I planned to unlock my phone like I was unwrapping a present that I had waited all day to finally tear into. But that's exactly how I felt, like a kid. I forced myself to calm down and think like a grown-up who has actually been around females before. I was reacting to the situation like it was my first school dance or something. Not cool, I know. Usually I am the epitome of cool. Cool, calm, and collective...the three C's, that's what I was. But not now, I was a love-struck fool. Wait, no, I didn't mean to say love. Because I'm not in, around, or anywhere near that word. I couldn't possibly use that word again, ever. Could I? Not after the last time I used it. No, not, nothing L-wording about this situation at all. Way too early for all of that anyways. Focus, stop being an uh, _like_-struck fool.

I watched some television while I inhaled my frozen, semi-delicious dinner which I slaved over a hot microwave for about 5 minutes for. I nervously kept looking at the clock every 10 seconds to check to see if it was time yet. Time to call Shea. Time to finally put an end to the day-long torment that I had been putting myself through. Eventually the time had come and I reached for my cell phone. I picked it up, opened up my call log and scrolled down to find her name and immediately pressed talk. Suddenly I quickly pressed the end button and dropped the phone as if it were burning the skin off of my hand. I shouldn't call exactly at the time I said that I was. It would seem as if I was impatiently waiting all day for this moment. I obviously was but I couldn't let her know that. Not with only two conversations into our acquaintance-ship. So I waited, but wait, did her phone ring? Did I wait too long to press end? Did I catch it before her cell alerted her that I had called on exactly the minute and second combination that I told her I was? Before I could entertain any of these questions that were pouring into my mind like a thunderstorm, something made a noise. A noise that snapped me out of one of my many mini-comas.

A very familiar guitar solo played to my left on the couch where I was sitting. It was the guitar solo from Michael Jackson's _Beat It_. I love that song. Pay attention dummy, it was my phone and I had assigned that song as my ringtone. I quickly snatched it up and saw her name on the front screen. Her. Her not being someone I wanted to talk to right now. Or ever for that matter, but we were unfortunately linked by some unfinished business. I silenced the phone and let it ring out and go to voice mail. She can leave a message if she felt necessary but I wasn't going to allow her to ruin my evening by hearing her voice. I held the phone in my hand trying to not think of those memories that I worked so hard on blocking out and getting over. But it was not easy; it was very difficult as a matter of fact. Why was she calling me again? We just spoke last week and there was no need for her to contact me again so soon. Why don't you call your new boyfriend? I really don't want you being a part of my life anymore. The sooner you are completely gone, the better. The memories arose and broke into my heart like someone had just hit me in the chest with a shovel. A very big shovel. I couldn't believe after all this time they still felt so fresh and new like I was experiencing them for the first time all over again.

Just then, my phone rang again. The guitar solo broke the silence and my unwanted concentration on the thoughts that I was having. Hoping it wasn't her again, I hesitantly looked at the screen and saw Shea's name this time. A relatively small smile crept over my face and all of a sudden I forgot about whatever was making me feel bad. I was sure to let it ring a couple of times before answering. You know, to seem like I wasn't sitting there with the phone in my hand waiting for her to call. Sly move, I know. Finally, I answered it.

"Hello?" I said, trying to sound smooth which I probably didn't.

"Hi Patrick! How are you?", she responded. She sounded pretty happy to talk to me; I tried not to sound surprised but glad that she had called at the same time. But it was hard, her voice never got old to me. Sure, I've only heard it a couple of times, but it was so lovely, so inviting, so…perfect.

"Oh, I'm good, just finished eating and relaxing a little", I lied. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine, just fine…hey, did you call me a little while ago?"

I immediately felt my voice fall into my foot. Yeah, all the way into my foot. I quickly retrieved it so I could respond. "Uh, I think I might have by accident, my phone was on the couch and I accidentally sat on it by mistake." _Accidentally sat on it by mistake_? You said the same thing twice, dummy. It's a wrap, she knows you're full of crap. If she didn't know it before, that lone retarded statement helped her solve the case of you being full of crap.

"Oh, that's cool, yeah, that happens to me all the time. My friends are always calling me back and getting on me about my chronic 'ghost dialing'", she said.

Wow, either she bought it or she really does know that I am full of crap and is just being really nice about it. Either way, I'm just going to run with it.

"Oh yeah, it's the opposite for me. I'm usually the one getting the 'ghost dials' and yeah, I call my friends back and mess with them about it too. Especially when it's like 2 o'clock in the morning and I overhear a drunken conversation that they are having trying to pick up some girl at a bar. It's hilarious.", I told her.

"Yup, I'm all too familiar with those kinds of phone calls, but usually it's one of my girl-friends calling me on purpose so I can listen to some random drunk guy try to hit on them."

"Wow, I wouldn't be surprised if that random drunk guy is one of mine.", I joked.

"Haha, yeah that would be too funny, wouldn't it?", she laughed.

I'm going to take another moment to make it known for the record that I just made her really laugh. I made her chuckle a couple times at the café when we first met, but it was like one of those "LoL" chuckles that you would just text when you didn't feel like writing an actual response back. This was a full blown laugh this time. It made me feel good; I mean I'm just saying.

"So, how was your day?", I asked.

"It was okay, work seemed to drag on and on though for whatever reason. I don't know why, but it did." Same thing happened to her! See, it was meant to be. Relax there bro, everyone has long days. This is true, ok I'm back now.

"Yeah, mine too, like it was fast and slow at the same time. The slow times were mostly when I was working. Go figure.", I said.

"Yup, of course they are, because you're working, same for me."

"Any new poems today?"

"Nah, I wasn't feeling the inspiration today. Probably because my day was taking so long to end.", she answered.

"Yeah, boredom will kill inspiration in a second if you're not careful. Then it'll kill you."

"Hahaha, that is true. I felt like I was literally dying a slow, painful death today.", she laughed again. That's two. Ok, I'll stop keeping count now.

"So it's safe to say that nothing special happened to you today. You safely pulled yourself out of your boredom coma and was able to continue on with your life.", I said. Another attempt at a joke. I admit not a very good one.

"Haha, yeah, I'm completely conscious and alive now, thankfully. But, uh…my day wasn't completely uneventful. I really wish it turned out that way considering what happened." Her voice kind of trailed off at the end of her sentence as if she was ashamed to tell me. I wanted to ask but didn't know if I should. But she did start the story so in a way she probably wants to talk about it with someone. I'll be that someone.

"What happened?", I asked her.

"Um, well, I was in the supermarket this evening picking up some groceries and I ran into my ex-boyfriend. Well at least I thought I ran into him. Apparently he watched me walk into the store so basically he followed me.", her voice wasn't as happy as it was when she first heard mine. She sounded a little scared and freaked out. I wondered what this guy had done to her to make her feel like this.

"Wow, really? That's pretty scary to say the least. Did he do anything to you?", I asked.

"No, no, he didn't. Not anything terrible anyway. He took my hand in his and I pulled back and told him to leave me alone. He told me that he misses me and he wishes that I would give him another chance. I turned around and walked away without saying a word. Luckily he didn't follow me and I got out of the store as fast as I could. I just abandoned my cart of groceries in an aisle and left.", she began to stammer a little and I knew this was pretty serious. Trying to lighten the mood, I attempted another joke.

"So basically you're starving at home right now because you weren't able to buy any groceries.", I joked.

"Haha…hahaha…yeah, that's exactly right. I've been surviving on crackers and diet soda until I can muster up the courage to go back to the store.", she sounded happy again with that unexpected laugh that I gave her.

"Well, I'll tell you what, I'll go to the store with you tomorrow and we'll get you some groceries so you're not rationing crackers and diet soda like it's post-apocalypse times or something.", I offered.

"No, no, you really don't have to do that. I can deal with it, I don't want you to feel like you have to put yourself in that position. I wasn't trying to make you feel obligated by telling you that. It just kinda came out."

"I don't feel obligated; I just don't want you to die of starvation before I have a chance to ask you out."

More laughter followed and then she said, "Ok, ok, you can come with me but don't think that means that I'm growing sweet on you or anything, ok?", she joked.

"Not a chance, just helping out a fellow eater, that's all.", I joked back.

We continued to talk for about another half hour. I didn't ask any details about her ex-boyfriend. I mean, I wanted to know what happened, I really did. But it was her business and I figured she would tell me when she felt it was right. Plus, sometimes listening to girls (or guys) talk about their ex's is the direct path straight to the friend zone. I've been in the dreaded friend zone plenty of times. My female friendship passport is filled with stamps from the friend zone. I sometimes vacation there; it's not fun at all. I really do not want to find myself there again, especially with Shea. Not getting ahead of myself, but I would like to see what being more than friends feels like with her. I'm hoping that it feels better than the last time I managed to stay out of the friend zone. But I'll simply let nature take its course and see what happens. Maybe nature will be on my side this time. Nature owes me one.

Before we got off the phone, we set a time to meet at the local market for the next day and I planned on experiencing another fast and slow day. If just a phone call made me feel like that, imagine what an in-person meeting to look forward to will do. I decided that after our "shopping trip", I would try to muster the courage to actually ask her out on a real date. After the last couple of days and tomorrow, that should be a cinch, hopefully. She thanked me for listening to her story and bid me goodnight in that soft angelic but sexy at the same time voice of hers. I wonder if girls do that on purpose just to mess with guys. Make sure they keep themselves in his thoughts. I'm sure they do. Whether they do or not, it really does work. I washed my face, brushed my teeth and got into bed. No need for Sports Center tonight, this time it was her voice that lingered in my head and took me to sleep. Tomorrow held another day of firsts, first time my second meeting with a girl consisted of a grocery shopping trip. First time I would be escorting a girl somewhere because she seemed afraid of her ex-boyfriend. First time I would see her again since the café and quite possibly the first day of the rest of my life.

_To be continued…_


	2. Chapter 4

'Another Chance' Café…part 4

I won't even get into how dull and bah humbug the next was. To say the very least, it started, continued on some less-than-important level and ended. But then it started again. It started again on an entirely different note. It was like a day that had been born again. New energy along with a sensational feeling ran through my mind and body as I got out of the shower. Although it was simply a trip to the grocery store, I thought I should try to smell fresh for our first meeting since the café. After a quick glance at the clock, I got dressed and then grabbed a snack from the kitchen just in case my nerves couldn't take it and I had to rely on a full stomach to be my confidence. I sought out my cell phone which does a very good job at pulling the most elaborate disappearing acts when I need it the most. Finally, I discovered it among the sheets in my unmade bed. With much more ease than the two previous times in which I attempted to call Shea, I effortlessly found her name and pressed talk once again. As the phone began to ring, I couldn't help but begin to wonder if she had changed her mind about the entire thing, or worse, she had completely forgotten. One bad thought led to another until I finally reached what might have been the worst one of all: What if her boyfriend shows up again? What if he doesn't appreciate the fact that she's there with me? With if he decides that he wants to fight? I, in no way shape of form, had any of the answers to these questions. But only one way to find out…

The phone continued to ring as walked over to my couch and sat down. It kept ringing until eventually the voice mail picked up. My heart instantly sank. Was she busy? Did she really just forget? Or, by far the worst of them all, she decided that this wasn't she wanted and is simply ignoring my call. Nah, it couldn't be that. Could it? No, I don't think so. I'm overreacting yet again. Feeling dejected, I turned on the television and began watching the random sitcom that was on at the time. Watching but not at all paying any attention to it. Thinking up any reasonable scenarios that may be preventing her from answering her phone that would make sense. After the worse possible scenario entered my mind which was her ex-boyfriend showing up at her house and…no, I didn't even want to think about any possible endings to that one. Realizing that I was probably sitting there thinking like some sort of a stalker, I forced myself to stop and began flipping through the channels. I then began to think of what else I could do to fill the remainder of my evening. Maybe some videogames perhaps. I picked up my controller and turned the system on. As the title screen faded in, I expected to hear the usual start up sounds but they were drowned out by the familiar guitar solo. I quickly snatched up my phone and saw Shea's name there. Letting it ring a little first as usual, I answered with a my usual "Hello?"

She responded, "I'm so sorry Patrick, I missed your call."

"Oh hey, nah, it's ok, no worries. What's up?", I said back.

"Nothing really, I just got out of work a little later than usual which made me get home a little later than usual and I really wanted to take a quick shower before meeting up with you so you didn't think that I stunk, haha. I'm sorry it took so long but I couldn't find my phone so I just now noticed that you had called, I really am sorry.", she joked.

Wow, girls really do put just as much effort and thought into impressing guys as guys do with them. It's just weird to actually hear that first hand, especially from one that I like. Oh, and either very weird or very destiny that she lost her phone as well.

"It really is ok, I promise, don't worry about it. I actually couldn't find my phone either a little while ago. Important thing is that you have it now.", I said.

"Yeah, that's right. I hate when I can't find it, I feel so helpless. But anyways, are you still up for going shopping with me? I mean, again, you really don't have to. It's quite alright.", she asked.

"No, I want to, it'll be fun. I mean usually I go grocery shopping all by myself so it's kind of boring. Now, I have someone to go with."

"Ok, thank you again in advance. I really do appreciate it. You're very nice.", she said back. I could hear the smile in her voice and the little digital mental copy that I had in my head instantly popped back into frame and I pictured her saying all of that to me while smiling.

"Ok, so I'm assuming you go to the market at the corner of Willoughby and Simpson?", I asked.

"Yup, that's the one."

"Cool, then I'll meet you there in ten minutes."

"Great, see you then. Buh-bye."

I can't really explain what it is, but the way that she says _buh-bye_ is adorable. She sounds very endearing like she cares about you and you're not just another person to her. Again, I could be reading into this way too much, but that's just how I see it. I simply can't get enough of the way she sounds, the way she smells and the way she smiles. It's a permanent fixture in my brain and I have only seen her in person once. I really hope that I am not building an infatuation here. Last time I found myself infatuated, it didn't turn out so good for my team. I was left broken and significantly less of a person than before.

These memories began to replace my thoughts about Shea's heavenly smell and smile as I drove to the market to meet her. When I got there, I parked and just sat for a moment when I realized I was the first one there. I leaned back in my seat and tried to fight off the bad memories that were once again threatening to disturb my pleasant mood and thoughts of Shea. Almost as if someone flipped the switch off, the thoughts of bad memories past were instantly gone when I noticed a small white sedan pull up alongside mine. I recognized it as Shea's because I remember watching her get into it the evening we left the café.

She waved at me from through her window and had the biggest smile I've seen on her yet. I waved and smiled back trying ever so hard to contain the real smile that I was feeling inside. I practically jumped out of my car and walked around to hers, opening her door trying to be a gentleman. She stepped out and I right away got another look at all of her. She was wearing a white sweater over light blue jeans which hugged her body to a nice noticeable point. Her sparkling necklace accentuated her slender neck as her still silky hair fell around it. Her eyes, well not much to say, when I look into her eyes, I am literally left speechless. I'm sure you remember what happened the last time. It happened again. Needless to say, she was looking quite exquisite and she had on regular hanging out clothes. Imagine what she effect she would have on me if she was actually dressed up. Dressed to kill would no longer be classified as a saying. My heart would actually just quit beating and my parents would be giving my eulogy at my funeral. Maybe Shea would show up out of remorse for committing murder.

Snapping me out of yet another mini-coma, she gave me a mini hug and asked how I was. It was then that I was reminded of her scent. She was wearing the same perfume that she wore that day at the café. It just as captivating as this first time I smelt it. She was just as captivating. I told her I was fine and that she looked very nice. She replied with a "Oh, thank you" and we walked into the store. I still didn't know what to expect on this shopping trip. I silently prayed we didn't bump into her ex-boyfriend. I never even asked if he was really big guy or not. Could I take him if he wanted a fight? Or should just play it cool and be the bigger man? Whatever, just concentrate on the time you are able to spend with her alone now and worry about that sort of stuff should it actually happen.

I pushed the shopping cart as she walked alongside me, picked out her items and placed them in the cart.

"I feel like you'll know a lot of stuff about me that many people don't just by seeing what kinds of things I buy.", she revealed.

"Yeah, this is true, you can tell a lot about someone by what they put in their refrigerator. Food is an essential part of one's lifestyle." I can't believe I said that. It sounded smart and stupid at the same time.

"I agree, like you probably think I'm a junk food addict by all of the fatty snacks I've grabbed so far."

"Nah, not at all, I got loads of junk food in my cabinets. You never know when that feeling of the munchies will hit you."

"Too true, I feel like I get it all the time. I'm so weak when it comes to snack food. I'm surprised I'm not 200 pounds by now.", she said.

No, this girl was nowhere near 200 hundred pounds. She stopped slightly under my chin and was as thin and curvy as I could have ever hoped. I'm shocked she's still even entertaining the thought of being seen in public with me.

"You don't look like you could ever reach 200 pounds if you tried.", I responded back. She turned her head around looked up at me in a blushing gaze. A small smirk formed over her lips and then she turned back around. I don't know if she had been doing it the entire time, but her walk suddenly became very noticeable to me. Her hips swayed back and forth like a palm tree in the breeze. I thought for a minute maybe she had started doing it on purpose but it looked so natural and effortless. Something else girls are good at. Communicating with their bodies. She was telling me that she appreciated my compliment and I was appreciating the way she was expressing her appreciation.

We continued to shop and converse about the kinds of food she was buying how they either similar or different to what I normally got. From what she bought, I realized she was relatively healthy person. Yeah, she had a normal person's share of goodies but everything else was filled with nutrition. Items from granola bars and low fat milk to spring water and protein shakes graced the inside of cart. It was nice, shopping with her, it was very nice. Kind of felt like we were a couple. I know we weren't and I wasn't going to push it but it felt nice, that's all. We reached the cashier and I unpacked her groceries onto the conveyor belt so the girl behind the counter could scan everything. I even packed them into plastic bags so she didn't have to. Just the sort of gentlemanly things that I can't help but do. She paid the cashier and we walked outside together. The sun was beginning to set as the sky was turning a dark orange. She began her barrage of thank you's before we even reached her car. I repeatedly told her that it was nothing and that I really enjoyed going shopping with her. The same smirk crept across lips once again and it looked like she was fighting to hold back another wonderful smile.

We were almost to her car when I heard the guitar solo again.


	3. Chapter 5

'Another Chance' Café part 5

Suddenly wishing the grocery cart that stood between us was actually a 10-foot wall made out of cinder blocks, I inched it closer to us as if it would provide some type of protection. Judging from the size of his arms and the anger-jealousy that was probably boiling up inside of him right now, he could of most likely picked the cart up with two fingers and made a dent in the side of my head so it would resemble a crescent moon. The acid look on his face didn't improve any either. I was sure that something was going to go down and that something might be turn out to be me. I began trying to build my self-confidence into battle mode when the tension-filled silence was finally broken.

"Xander, I asked you a question," Shea asked again. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm….I'm just picking up some groceries," he finally answered.

"Really? Again? You were _just_ picking up some groceries yesterday too," she said back. This time when she spoke, her voice had somewhat of an attitude behind it. Not the usual female attitude when they are either trying to get their way or just being difficult but the "I'm tired of this" and frustrated tone of an attitude. I half wished she wasn't using it, expecting it would only make matters ten times worse.

"I mean, really, c'mon now, this is getting out of hand and just downright childish now" Nope, the attitude continued. "What is your problem?" she asked.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Shea. Aren't you going to introduce me to your…_friend_?" asked Xander.

"No"

"What do you mean no?"

"Did I stutter or something? No, I'm not"

"Ok, that's fine. I'll just introduce myself," he said. Then he looked over at me, burning a hole through my head with his stare. "Hi,…I'm Xander…nice to meet you". He paused after every section of words as if trying to prevent himself from speaking through clenched teeth. It was quite obvious, this guy did not like the fact that I was standing beside his ex-girl. Did not like it at all. He didn't offer his hand for a shake either, as I didn't expect him to.

"Patrick," I said as I slightly nodded my head towards him. I answered with simply my name to indicate that I wasn't afraid of him. Whether or not he believed this lie that I was also trying to convince myself of, I don't know.

"Well, is there anything else we can do for you?" asked Shea. Oh no, she used the _we_ word. This would only add to his utter dislike and eventual hatred towards me. By now, I had no idea what might be holding him back from pulling the shopping cart out of the way and grabbing my throat with one hand while me pummels me with the other.

"No, so sorry to interrupt your evening. It was very nice to see you again Shea," he said.

"Whatever," she replied back and grabbed my hand pulling me alongside her as we pushed her cart past him.

All the while still, he continued staring pretty hard at my head. I wondered if he pulled any of my thoughts out of there and took them with him into the market. The ones about her smell and smile would surely give him more reasons to end my existence.

"I am so sorry about that, Patrick. I was really hoping we didn't run into him today, or ever for that matter. But of course that would never happen with my luck. I swear he's infatuated or something, I just wish he would stop," she explained as we began to unload her groceries into the trunk of her car.

"It really is ok. I was kind of preparing myself half expecting to run into him. Didn't know he was so big though. You could have given me a heads up on that one," I joked.

"Ha, yeah I know, sorry, I guess I'm trying so hard to forget him that I try to avoid talking about him," she said.

"Yeah, I can understand that much, it makes sense. I don't like talking about certain people in my life too," I replied. I hope that statement didn't remind her of the phone call I had recently not answered. Not giving her time to replay her memory, I quickly changed the subject. "Would you like me to follow you home to help you unpack?"

Normally I wouldn't have even thought about asking about going to her home so early in our "thing" but it sort of just came out. I think it was a combination of a new found confidence from the recent encounter with her ex-boyfriend and just wanting to get out of there before he comes back out of store and changes his mind about ending this meeting on a semi-peaceful note.

"You've done a lot already. I don't want you to go out of your way again just for me, I feel like I would be taking advantage of you. You're so nice, I wouldn't want to do that," she said.

"No, you can't take advantage of me if I'm the one offering. It's perfectly fine. You lead and I'll follow," I replied.

She looked at me with one the most endearing expressions that I have ever seen. Her gorgeous brown eyes glistened up at me in the twilight as the sun was just about over the horizon now. It was one of those looks of awe as if she were saying to herself, "Is he for real?" At that moment, looking back down at her, staring back into her enchanting eyes, I had to fight back the urge to kiss her. It was like the feeling of being in the moment and the common sense of saying it was too soon was waging a war within me. They collided like two armies in an epic movie set in medieval times. But the side bearing the common sense flag won and I resisted the push in that direction.

"Ok, you make a very good argument. Or you just want to see why I live?" she cleverly responded.

"I guess you'll just have to find out for yourself," I informed her.

With one more smile, she got in her car and I got in mine. We pulled out of the market's parking lot together and began the trip to her apartment. I began to feel another slight nervousness as I followed her. But it quickly disappeared with memories of the evenings events. I accompanied her to the grocery store, ran into her massive mountain of an ex-boyfriend and very smoothly convinced her to allow me to accompany her home and all without making a total fool out of myself. I'm doing pretty good so far, so no real need for the butterflies anymore. I instantly relaxed and felt much better. I heard my phone chime and knew it was a text message. Expecting it to be from Shea, I prepared a smart reply giving her crap about texting while driving but it wasn't her. Quickly glancing over a name that gave me rather uncomfortable chills every time I saw it, I regrettably opened the message and read what it said:

"I need to talk to you"

The six words gleamed out at me and hurt my eyes as if I was staring into the sun. I didn't want to talk to her. In case my feelings about this person wasn't made quite clear before, I will restate it again; I don't want to talk to her…ever. Why couldn't she understand and respect that. Why won't you leave me alone? This can't be about business; we just spoke about that last week. What could she possibly want to discuss with me so badly? I honestly don't want to even know. Realizing that we had arrived at Shea's place, I holstered my phone, no better yet, I'll leave it in my car. Don't want any more interruptions tonight.

I parked my car next to hers and got out. Her apartment complex was very nice. Clean, small and very green. The abundance of trees and bushes presented a small forest type feeling. The smell of dinner floated through the air from someone's kitchen. Smelled like roast chicken, I was instantly hungry. I walked to her trunk just as she popped it and began to grab bags out of it. She got out and grabbed the rest while flashing me yet another smile. Did she somehow figure out that that was one of my favorite things about her and intended on making sure it never left my subconscious, ever? Maybe, or maybe she was just happy. Either way, she was practically beaming. I wanted to laugh a little at her wide smile but I held it back and simply just smiled back at her.

Carrying her bags, we walked towards a building with three levels that resembled the structure of a townhome but with stairs on the outside. I followed her up to the second level and she stopped at the first door in the hallway on the right. Setting her bags down, she opened her purse and took out her keys. Fumbling with her keys for a second, it almost seemed as if she was nervous. I was a little shocked and could relate at the same time. I was shocked because I rarely see a girl get nervous. I know they are human beings too and they feel that emotion like everyone else but they usually do such a great job at concealing it. It's always the guy trying so hard to impress the females leaving them with the final judge on whether he's worthy of her time or not. At the same time I understood because who wouldn't be nervous bringing a strange person who you potentially might have a "thing" with into your home for the first time. Well at least I was hoping, a little, we would eventually have a "thing" together. Still not completely sure on what she was hoping on, if anything at all.

Eventually getting a hold of her keys, she opened her door and walked in with me right behind her. "Well, this is it, my humble abode. Welcome," she said.

I followed her in and quickly looked around. The hallway from the door led into the living room which was pretty spacious and had a balcony connected to it overlooking the parking lot. She immediately walked into the kitchen, which was on the opposite side of the living room and put her set of the groceries on the counter. I followed suit and placed my set next to hers.

"Nice place, a lot cleaner than mine," I joked.

"Ha, really? I haven't cleaned in about a month, the dust might begin to attack me pretty soon," she retorted.

"Yeah, maybe the layer of dust will help keep your boyfriend away," I joked.

"Very funny, and he's my _ex-_boyfriend. Never again with that one, I swear"

"Well, I guess I'll be going now," I said disappointingly. I really didn't want to leave. I mean I really didn't but we spent the entire evening together, had an "ex" run-in and I'd now been inside her apartment for a whole 5 minutes. I didn't want to overdo it. So I figured I'd play the responsible one and again act like I wasn't all into her. Which I think I was pulling off pretty well so far.

"Oh, well, ok, yeah I suppose it is getting a little late. I forgot we both got work tomorrow. One more day until Friday though," she said with a sort of sad, disappointed demeanor. Did she want me to stay? Was she upset I was leaving? I suppose we may have connected on some sort of level today staring danger in the face together and surviving to tell the tale. But I still didn't want her to get tired of me so soon, so I didn't ask any of those questions. I did, on the other hand, have the courage to ask another kind of question.

"Speaking of Friday, I was thinking, if you're not busy or anything, would you care to have dinner with me that night?" I asked. My heart…actually did nothing. It kept beating normally with no elevated rate or anything. I was surprised, very surprised. I had planned on asking her out on a date this entire evening but expected my heart to jump out of my chest as I built up to the actual question. But nothing, no nervousness, no tension, no nothing. Cool, calm, and collective. I told you that was me.

"Why yes, I would," she said with a smile followed by a school girl sort of giggle.

"Great then, I'll pick you up around 7:30. Is that cool?" I asked.

"That will be perfect. Looking forward to it," she replied. She was looking forward to it! Nice! Calm down. Ok, I'm calm again.

"Ok, I'll talk to you tomorrow then?"

"Absolutely"

I turned to walk towards the door and she followed behind me. As I walked down the hall, the thought crossed back and forth through my mind about trying to kiss her. I know this wasn't an actual date and it was only the second time that we were actually together in person but I really wanted to. By the time I reached the door, the thought crossed back through my head for the final time and I decided not to. I reached for the door knob and I felt her soft hand grab my wrist. She gently turned me around and threw her arms around my neck. I, almost instinctively, wrapped my arms around her waist and we stood there in an embrace that felt like it lasted forever. Her smell completely engulfed me and I felt like I had figured out what heaven was like and never wanted to leave. I felt her holding on tight as if she wanted to prevent herself from falling. I wanted to tighten my hold as well but decided to play it safe.

Finally I asked, "Are you ok?"

"I am now," she responded and kind of made that "Hmmm" sound in my ear. Do girls have any idea what that does to a guy? Wait, of course they do. That's exactly why they do things like that. She continued to hold me close and said in a voice just above a whisper, "I want to thank you again so much for coming with me today and…and for sticking with me when _he_ showed up. Truthfully, Patrick, you were the reason why I had so much confidence today when I saw him. Usually, I am terrified. Don't get me wrong, I didn't expect you to fight him or anything and I wouldn't have let you but you made me feel safe, just by being there and I haven't felt safe in a very long time. Thank you". That last "Thank You" came out in a full whisper and all I wanted to do was plant a nice, tasteful kiss on her. But I stopped myself again.

In the same whispery tone, I replied with a "You're welcome". She instantly burst out laughing probably thinking I was mocking her. I ensured her that I wasn't and restated my "You're welcome" in a normal tone. The way she was holding onto me, I thought maybe she was thinking about kissing me too. She pulled her head back and I prepared myself. Then she leaned in and kissed me…on my cheek. I'll accept that. It still felt really nice. Then she stared into my eyes while gently rubbing the back of my neck. After a moment, we let go of each other, said bye and I left.

I couldn't help but smile all the way home. I actually tried to stop smiling a couple of times but it was nearly impossible. So I gave up and just smiled. Smiled all the way into my apartment. Smiled while brushing my teeth, which made it very easy actually. Smiled until I heard the text message ringtone from my phone. Instantly the smile was gone and the memory of the earlier text message that I had not replied to shot back into my head. I picked up my phone and opened the message. Like a flash, the smile returned.

"Good night, sweet dreams," read the message from Shea.

"Nighty night," I wrote back and got into bed to call it a day. Despite some unexpected small drama, today was a success. I got to hang out with the girl who has taken over my thoughts and managed to ask her out and receive a positive response. Good job, Patrick. Good job. No doubt tomorrow will yield more anxiousness because I actually have a date for Friday night. A date with a beautiful woman. A date with a beautiful, amazing woman. A date with…oh no, I need to make plans!

_To be continued…_


	4. Chapter 6

As usual, the next day was a blur. Once again, a blur in the sense that I can't really remember what happened but slow in that feeling of I can't wait to talk to Shea again. I think that every day is going to be like that. At least until that fateful day when she emerges from her post bad break-up coma and realizes she can do much better than me. Yes, even though my nervousness and periods of acting like a school boy are nearly completely gone, I still lack a complete set of functioning self-esteem parts. Still working on that aspect of my personality. It has become a life-long project that I hope I will be able to complete very soon and put it on high display for the entire world to be able to see. But until then, I will simply continue to live each day on a case by case basis of whether girls like me or not. Today's case: although I can't seem to remove the haunting emotions of doubt from my mind about how long she will like me or whether she only likes me because she feels like she can talk to me and because she hates her ex-boyfriend, I'm feeling pretty good about where I stand with Shea. Unorthodox and possibly a soul crippling way to live life, but it's worked for me thus far…somewhat.

I sleep-walked through the work day only occasionally waking up from my semi-conscious state to check the time to see how much longer until I could escape. I imagined the next day would be even worse because that was our date night. Yeah, our official first date. Even though it was an actual true statement, I still found it difficult to believe. I prepped myself for the possibility of her blowing me off due to, well, anything. I could hear her now.

"I'm sorry Patrick but a couple friends of mine who I haven't seen in a long time are in town and want to hang out. Maybe some other time perhaps?" or "Patrick, I've been thinking and I don't know if I'm quite ready to go there with you just yet, or with anyone for that matter. I just need some 'me' time. You're a good friend and I hope we can still keep a friendship. I love talking to you," I imagined.

If you're thinking I need to get my negative imagination under control, you are completely correct. But it's very hard not to think in that depressing direction when it has happened to me time and time again. I think there might be some kind of script out there that was specifically created in order for girls to let me down easy. Or at least think that they are letting me down easy. One day, I think I might drop everything and commence an all out search for the creator of that script and offer them two choices: A slow painful death or a torturous painful death.

Snapping back to reality, the rest of day was the usual. Gym, home, dinner, television, and my nightly debate on what time to call this girl. Now being about 4 and half days "in the game" with her, this time was much easier than all of the others. After I caught some re-run episodes of a sitcom on television, I very casually picked up my phone and dialed her number. To my heart-stopping surprise, she answered my call about half way into the first ring.

"Hey Patrick!" she screamed.

"Uh, hey what's up Shea? How are you doing?" I asked.

"Sorry for the scream, I just got happy when I saw your name. I think I just attacked my phone like it owes me money or something," she responded.

"Oh yeah? Ha, ha. You're a funny one," I said. "Well I'm extra glad to hear that the sight of my name brings you so much joy".

"It's not exactly the sight of your name, it's you. I mean you're name is cool too, I don't have anything against it or anything but I…I uh, I was thinking about you all day and was just glad that you called," she said.

"Oh…I well, I am…glad to hear that too. Oh and it's good to know that you don't have anything against my name. If you did, I might have to re-think being your friend," I joked.

"Ha…ha, very funny. Well, _I'm_ glad to hear that I am your friend. I was beginning to think that maybe you just help strangers with their groceries all the time," she said.

"Nope, only the really hot ones," I responded.

"Ohhhh really? So, you think I'm hot? Well thanks for being honest; at least I know you don't want me for my mind. That might have hurt my feelings," she joked.

"Oh of course not, intelligence has nothing to do with it. I took one look at you and said 'yeah, dime piece all by herself, time to move in and spit my game'," I retorted.

"Hahahaha, you are hilarious, no way you actually told yourself that. That doesn't even sound like you at all," she replied.

"Ha, yeah you're right, far from it. I don't think I could pull that image off if I tried," I said.

"Well, there's a certain sexiness about how you said it though," she said. A "certain sexiness?" Really? Is she being for real or just setting me up for another joke. Hard to tell with females, they are the masters of disguise in everything they do. Covert spies who always get their man. Hopefully I'm the man she has in her crosshairs.

"Was there really?" I asked.

"Yup, I mean guys talking like that can be sexy, to an extent. They have to know how to say it, when to say it and how often. And the most important thing is that they don't usually talk like that. Slang is not a bad thing, but as a female gets older and starts to look for that right someone to settle down with, they really don't want a guy who doesn't have an adult vocabulary. But since I know that you do, I thought you sounded sexy just then," she explained.

"Wow, something else that's good to know. I feel like I should be making a 'Good Things to Know' list. So I can remember all the things that you like," I responded.

"You could if you want, but I think I'm a pretty simple girl. I don't ask for too much and I try not to complain too much either. Many girls can be very picky and very superficial. I feel like I'm too old and mature for things like that. Just give me 'this, this and that' and I'm yours all day every day," she said.

"And what might 'this, this and that' be?" I asked.

"Well, respect is at the top of my list. I'm not talking about worshipping the ground that I walk on or feeling like you have to check up on me every two minutes to see if I'm ok, but just basic respect. If we're having a discussion, then let me speak and I'll let you speak. There are always at least two sides to a story and I want to hear yours as much as I want you to hear mine," she said.

"Very true, I don't really hear many women say something like that. Most of the time, it's their way or the highway and I don't really think that's very fair," I responded.

"You are too right. That's why I try not to be one of those women, I want to be treated fairly so I'm going to treat you fairly," she said.

"What's the next thing?"

"The next thing is romance. I love romance, a lot of it. I mean it doesn't have to be something straight out of a super cheesy romance novel or a chick flick but a realistic amount. Candles, flowers, alone time, the normal stuff. I associate romance with almost everything, so it's really not too hard to do a good job. For example, if you want to go hang out with the guys, that's great. Everyone needs time with their friends. Something as small as even a text message after you're done hanging out with them just saying "hi" tells me that I'm on your mind. The rest of my day will be great just from that. Small instances of romance, that's all," she said.

"So I guess you like to hold hands?" I asked.

"Oh my gosh. Like? I love it! Holding hands just forms that subtle but intimate connection between two people that say 'I care'," she explained.

"Well sorry to tell you this, but I don't like holding hands. I think it's too mushy," I said.

"Uh, um ok, well I uh, suppose…," she started.

"I'm just joking Shea, I like holding hands too. And holding onto yours is easy, your skin is very soft," I joked.

"Ohhhh, ok, I'll admit you got me that time. I was about to hang up, I don't know if I could go without holding hands. And thank you for the compliment, by the way," she replied.

"You're very welcome. I look forward to holding to your hand. If you'll let me, of course," I said.

"Absolutely, I think what we went through yesterday has earned you some quality hand holding time," she joked.

"Very glad to hear it," I replied back. I kind of wanted to ask her if her ex had tried to contact her again since yesterday. But at the same time, we were having another good conversation in which she said I sounded sexy so I didn't want to bring him up and put a negative spin on a positive evening.

We spoke for a little while longer about random things. I asked if she wrote anymore poetry that day. She told me yes, and that I was her inspiration this time. Yesterday must have really impressed her for whatever reason. Whatever it was, I'm glad it is paying off in benefitting me. I asked her if I could hear it but she said I would just have to wait until the following evening during our date. Our date! It slipped my mind during our conversation. I got so wrapped up in listening to her angelic voice say good things about me that I let the event that I was dawning on all day fall out of my head.

Realizing that I had done absolutely no research on restaurants or movie theaters or anything at all for that matter, I figured I should end the conversation so I could work on it. I really didn't want to get off of the phone with her. I loved, I mean, I liked talking to her a lot. We have talked for what feels like forever so far and still haven't hit any disagreements over anything. I even had to plug my phone in to prevent the battery from dying because we had been talking for so long. I smoothly attempted to get off of the phone with her.

"Well, as much as I would absolutely love to keep talking to you, I think I should go get some rest," I said.

"Aww, do you really need to sleep? It's kind of overrated. Especially when you're talking to me," she joked.

"That's a good one but seeing how I must prepare in order to impress you tomorrow, I think I should be well rested," I said. Smooth enough? I thought so.

"You do have a point there, but truthfully there's no need to try to impress me. You've already done so much. Just keep being yourself and you can't go wrong," she advised.

"Ok, well I'll take your advice under consideration. Maybe it'll work," I said.

"Of course it'll work, it's my idea"

"You're just a regular comedian, you must crack yourself up"

"I do, helps me to pass the time. Well, I'm still looking forward to tomorrow night and I'm sure I'll have a great time. Go get your rest and I'll see you tomorrow. Good night, Patrick," she said. Her voice is so addicting, the way she says "Good Night" makes me want to record it and use it as a ring tone on my phone so I could listen to it whenever I want.

"Good night Shea, sweet dreams," I responded. "Oh wait!..."

"Yes?"

The feeling of nervousness suddenly returned to my entire being. This time it brought along the emotion of uncertainty. It's not a big deal, but I'm scared to say it. Last time I gave into telling a female anything about how I felt about her, it backfired. It always did. It took a lot for me to just admit to myself that I liked her. That so far, she made me happy. That she was the first thing in a long time to take away my negative feelings about myself, about women and about the world. But it was still so difficult to spit out. I couldn't stop now, it would probably seem weird to her. Beginning to say something and then stopping and just saying good night was not a very smooth move. With all of these thoughts spiraling out of control in my head, I just went for it.

"I, uh…I, um. Uh, I think about you too. I actually think about you a lot," I finally admitted.

"Oh, why thank you Patrick. That was sweet. It's good to know I'm on someone's mind," she replied.

"My pleasure my dear, hope you sleep well. See you tomorrow evening," I said.

"7:30, good night"

"Good night"

I kept the phone to my ear until I heard her hang-up. That took a lot for me to say. I was a little upset at myself for stuttering and taking so long to say it. She admitted it first; it should have been a piece of cake for me to say the same thing. But yet it wasn't. It actually felt as if it was harder than if I had been the one to say it first for some strange reason.

Even though she sounded happy to speak to me and seemed like she generally enjoyed my company the day before, I still had my doubts. I had been down this road before. I was different than her last boyfriend. I was nice, attentive, considerate, respectful and made her laugh. But how long would it last? How long until I expire? She liked her ex at some point. She had to or else they wouldn't have ever dated. What did she like about him? What didn't she like about him? Would I fall into that same category again where girls like me during the honeymoon phase? Then when the vacations over, they realize I have outlasted my purpose. I had run my course with them and it was time for them to move on and either return to their "me time" phase or find someone better.

I didn't know the answer to any of these questions and I wasn't about to ask her in order to find out. I guess I'm just going to have to see what happens the old fashioned way, yet again. I just wished I knew when. When she would be done with me so I could prepare myself. Being surprised with an "I think I need some space" speech is never a good thing. Especially when you really like the person. But whatever I suppose. I'm just to going to continue being me and if she gets tired of me then so be it.

I'll deal with it as I have dealt with it the last time. Or at least as I have tried to deal with the last time. The numbing feeling still lingers in my heart. The paralyzing words still echo in my ear, "I went with him to a hotel last night".

"So, what happened?"

"What do you think happened, Patrick?"

It felt as if someone had taken the biggest shovel in the world and hit me in the chest with it…many times. I loved her, not liked, LOVED! I was _in love_ with her. I put her before my family, before my friends. How could she do that to me? How could she do that to us? Why was I not good enough? Why was she such a bitch? These questions I did know the answers to, well a couple of them. But I still didn't completely understand. I couldn't understand how one person could do that to another. Especially someone they claimed to love. I treated her like a princess, no like a queen. That's how I saw her, that's what she was to me. She was the queen of my universe and she chose to crush it with one blow.

These thoughts rushed back inside of my head once again ignoring my efforts to defend against them. That happened two years ago, but it was still so fresh to me. Still so new and just as devastating as when I experienced it the first time. But I mustn't let these horrible memories influence my feelings about Shea. Yes, she's a woman but she seems so different. The last one seemed different too and look how that turned out.

I took a moment to try to calm myself down and resumed my brainstorming of ideas for a top notch first date. The memories were still there, I managed to suppress them but they were still very much there. I pressed on; blocking them out with different places I could take Shea tomorrow night. I wonder if she likes Italian or perhaps Mexican. A fancy restaurant would be nice or maybe a more down to earth setting would work better. Somewhere we could talk and I would be able to stare into those magnificent eyes of hers. Somewhere I've been before so I would know the food is good and the environment would be great. Somewhere close. I got it!


	5. Chapter 7

I nearly broke my neck and possibly my leg leaping out of bed the next morning. The big day had arrived which would lead into the big night. I had to follow the schedule for the preparation for tonight in order to allow myself enough time to get everything done and get everything perfect. The night before I had decided that I would take Shea out to eat…here at my apartment. I would attempt to create an edible meal that would hopefully impress her and not poison her at the same time. The menu for the evening consisted of an appetizer of one of those packaged pre-made salads that I would simply put in a bowl and offer a lovely assortment of gourmet dressing that I would pick-up from the market to accompany it. The main menu was an exquisite combination of rigatoni pasta and chicken parmesan covered in a tasteful pasta sauce. Should she desire any dessert, I will pick up two slices of carrot cake and keep them refrigerated just in case. To quench her thirst, a bottle of raspberry lemonade is sitting unopened in my fridge as I speak just yearning to pass over Shea's majestic lips. How I wish I was that lemonade. If the moment called for it, I also had a bottle of red wine on stand-by. Usually I wouldn't have a bottle of wine just lying around my kitchen but sometime long ago, I actually did expect to bring a female back home and wanted to be prepared. With that, everything was thought of and accounted for.

I fell into another Shea coma during work imagining how the evening would play out. I tried to imagine every possible scenario where I could potentially make a fool out of myself. I think I covered them all including accidentally tripping on that pesky snag in the floor in the walkway between the kitchen and the dining room. I have taken plenty of tumbles at all wee hours of the morning because of that. Tonight called for extra preparation. No mistakes, no foul-ups. I'm not known for being the smoothest guy around but I was sure going to try tonight while at the same time remaining to be myself. Pretending to be something or someone I'm not never worked out for me so I decided to cut it out after the last time. Maybe being myself actually contributed to what happened, I still don't know.

Snapping back into being awake again, I realized it was nearly time to go home. Setting a seven o' clock date time didn't leave me much time now that I decided to cook for her. But I was going to make it work, I was determined. Four o' clock came and I sprinted out of the building to my car and drove like I was a NASCAR driver to the market to retrieve what I needed. Luckily I already chicken cutlets at home which I smartly left out this morning so they could defrost. I'm a genius, I know. I raced into the market, grabbed what I needed, checked out and dove back into my car. Fastest…shopping trip…ever. When I got home, I stormed inside and immediately went into the kitchen to begin creating my masterpiece. I felt like an artist. Carefully combining ingredients and making sure the heat on the stove was at just the right temperature so my meal wouldn't be ruined. Normally I'm not a very good cook, but if I could help it, this woman will think that a chef was pulled straight off of the Food Network to prepare her meal.

It was around five when I placed the chicken parmesan in the oven to begin to cook. I then started on heating up the pasta sauce which splattered all over the stove when I poured it in the pot. I think it's trying to tell you something Patrick…turn down the heat! Ok, got it. I had already cooked the rigatoni and it came out magnificently. I emptied the packaged salad into a salad bowl and put it in the fridge to keep fresh. I could already begin to smell my chicken cooking. The aroma was filling my apartment. My neighbors must be shocked to smell the scent of cooked food actually coming from _my_ apartment this time. As everything was falling into place, it still felt like something was missing. The meal was not completely complete. Garlic bread! You can't have a semi-gourmet first date meal with chicken parmesan, pasta and no garlic bread. What is wrong with me? I turned off the stove and oven, grabbed my keys and hurled myself out the door to return to the market. I careened around the corner at top speed as I approached it and slammed on my brakes screeching into a parking spot. I ran to the freshly baked bread section of the store and found the absolute greatest roll of garlic bread that anyone has ever seen in the history of garlic bread. Flying through the check out aisle and back into my car, I peeled out of the parking lot and returned back home.

Once back in my masterpiece studio, my kitchen, I opened the package of garlic bread and took a deep smell of the fresh garlic that surrounded it. I cut it into pieces and placed it into the oven with my chicken and turned it and the stove back on. Ok, now everything was perfect. While my greatest work was cooking, I found some candles my mother had given me. At the time, I wondered "why are you giving me candles, Ma?" I'm a guy. Take it from me, mothers always know what they are doing. Thanking her out loud, I placed the candles on the dining room table and returned to the kitchen to find the "good" dishware. I used them to set the table and revisited my meal in the making to make sure everything was progressing nicely. My chicken was nearly done, now turning a nice golden brown. The sauce was beginning to bubble a little and my bread was nice and warm, ready to be buttered.

Seeing that everything was in order, I decided to begin my grooming process. I took out my clothes and placed them on my bed. I entered the bathroom to give myself a quick shave when my phone rang. Assuming it was Shea, I lunged towards it sitting on my couch and looked at the screen. Seriously? You are really going to decide to call me now, when I'm trying to prepare myself for what might hopefully turn out to be a good night? Apparently she was. Maybe she knew somehow that I was talking to another female. Some sort of messed up female intuition. She hasn't tried to contact me this much since we broke up. All of sudden just when I finally begin to get to know another woman, she pops back up. Why? All I can say is why? But I didn't want to find out why just then and there, I had a mission to get back to. I let my phone ring out and went back to shaving.

After my shave, I took a quick trip to the kitchen to check on my food. The chicken was done and so was the sauce. I turned the oven off but left the chicken inside in order to keep it warm. I removed the pot of pasta sauce from the heat and stirred it a couple times to check the thickness. Just right. Good. Great. I ran back into the bathroom and jumped in the shower. Five minutes later, I got out, got dressed and got a shock when I looked at the clock. It was twenty minutes to seven and I realized that I hadn't heard anything from Shea all day long. I began to wonder once again if she changed her mind about all of this. Realized it wasn't a road that she wanted to travel down with me just yet. I grabbed my phone and called her up. She answered on the very first ring again.

"Hi!" she practically yelled into the phone.

"Hey Shea, what's up?" I responded.

"I'm great, just waiting for you," she said.

"Oh really? I hadn't heard from you, I had a slight feeling maybe you had changed your mind," I said. I don't know why I actually said that. I didn't want her to know that I had had that thought. An overwhelming mist of insecurity suddenly surrounded me and threatened to take my newly found confidence hostage.

"Oh, no. I wouldn't do that, I've been looking forward to tonight ever since you asked me out," she responded. As quickly as it arose, the mist evaporated and my confidence was in control once again.

"Ok, great. I'm on my way to come get you, are you ready?"

"I sure am, can't wait. I'll be here,"

"Ok, see you in a few then,"

"Good, see you soon Patrick,"

"You too"

With that, I hung up and grabbed my keys. I know usually if you are having someone for dinner at your home, you would simply ask them to come to you. But I figured I would try something different. Picking her up and taking her back home despite just being at my place was different and hopefully it would say something positive to her. Hopefully positive and not weird. Suddenly, my phone rang again. I wondered what smart remark Shea would have for me this time. Perhaps something about not driving too fast on my way to come get her. Doesn't want me to get into a traffic accident because I'm smitten with her. That sounds like something she would say. I took my phone out and I saw that I was wrong again.

Figuring that she would simply keep calling throughout the night, I bit the bullet and answered.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hi, you are a very difficult person to get in touch with. I've been trying for days now. I've begin to think that maybe you are avoiding me," she replied.

Silence stood strong from my side of the phone.

"Patrick, it's me, Jenalee," she said.

"I know who it is, how can I help you?" I asked.

"Uh, well, how have you been? I haven't spoken to you in a little while. I just wondered how you were doing," she responded.

"I'm fine," I said.

"Ok, that's great, I'm very glad to hear to that. Happy to know you are ok," she said. "Listen, I know we agreed that we would only speak to each other if it had to do with business or important matters, but I feel like this is an important matter."

"What might that be?" I asked.

"Well, this isn't exactly an easy thing for me to say and I know that I have apologized many times already to you about what happened between us but I really am sorry. I've been doing a lot of thinking and soul searching and I realized that the only time that I really did find my soul and myself was when I was with you. I guess what I am trying to say, Patrick, is that…well, I still love you, very much actually," she said.

"Goodbye," I responded.

"No, wait Patrick, don't go just yet, just talk to me for a minute. Please. Don't you have anything to say about that?" she asked.

"No, not at all, and I can't talk to you right now, I'm busy," I responded.

"Can we talk later?"

"There isn't anything to talk about Jena. We've already been through this. We are done and that is how we shall remain, forever."

"Don't say that Patrick, you must have some type feelings left in your heart for me. I mean we were together for five years. We were engaged. We've been through a lot together. We've had so many ups and downs and shared so much with one another. Doesn't any of that mean anything to you anymore?" she asked.

"Not anymore, it doesn't. I'm over it and would prefer not to revisit the past. It wasn't exactly a pleasant one for me and I really do not want to live through it again, thanks," I responded. "Now I have really have to go"

"Wait, wait. Please wait. I really need you back in my life. I love you so much. I think about you all of the time and I regret everything that I ever did to you. I put you though a lot and I wouldn't ever do that again. I promise," she said.

"Jena, no ok? No. It's not going to happen," I retorted.

"You called me 'Jena'. There's something still left in there. I can tell by the way you said my name," she said.

"What, you mean in anger and frustration?" I asked. "Obviously you can't tell anything because the way I just said you're name means I want nothing to do with you at all. Please leave me alone. I'm asking you very nicely. I really got to go," I said.

"Why the rush to get off of the phone with me?" she asked.

"Because I don't want to talk to you," I responded.

"Is there someone else? Is that the reason for your hurry? Another girl?" she asked. "I mean you can tell me, we used to tell each other everything"

"Yeah, I could tell you, but I won't. It's my choice, now bye," I said as I hung up the phone.

I really hope she doesn't call back. My phone is going to have to spend the evening in my room on silent. Glancing at the clock, to my horror I noticed it was already five after seven. Great, I'm officially late.

I almost fell down the flight of stairs that leads out to the parking lot trying desperately to reach my car. I sped over to Shea's place. Luckily she didn't live too far away or I would definitely be screwed. I quickly parked and ran up the stairs to her place. I was moving so fast that I had completely forgotten to get nervous. I was only upset and frustrated because of that phone call and it leading to me being late. I knocked on the door and waited. Quickly I conducted a breath check because I forgot to pop a mint into my mouth to guarantee freshness. After a couple seconds I heard her walking up to the door and held my breath as it slowly swung open. I momentarily found myself speechless as I saw what awaited me on the other side. There she stood. She was wearing a purple blouse that led down to a skirt which stopped a little above her knees and exposed her legs for the first time that I can remember. She wore a matching pair of purple heels which I love to see girls in. Instantly I felt a loss of breath and I also felt stupid at the same time. I felt like she got all dressed up and all I was doing was taking her back to my place. I felt glad that no one else would be able to share in my delight by being able to see her but she also looked like she put in a lot of preparation to look nice for this evening and we weren't really going anywhere.

"Hey there!" she said.

"Um, hi, you, uh, you look great," I responded.

"Why thank you, I try," she said.

"You are very welcome," I said. "Sorry for the lateness,"

"Oh no, you're right on time, don't worry about it," she replied.

She stepped out of her apartment and pulled the door closed behind her.

"I have feeling you may be a little disappointed on where we are having dinner tonight," I told her.

"Why do you think that?" she asked.

"Well you look fabulous, that's why I think that," I answered. I could see her blush a little to herself.

"Really? Well, where are we going?" she asked.

"Can't tell you, it's a surprise," I answered.

"Aw man, really? Can I get a hint?" she asked.

"Nope, sorry, no hints, just got to wait and find out for yourself," I replied.

"Ok, fair enough, I'll play along…for now," she said.

"Thanks, I appreciate your cooperation," I said. She smiled at me and we walked out to my car and we drove off.

A little while later, we pulled into my complex and I parked in front of my building. I was anticipating her saying something but she remained quiet until I shifted the engine into park. As soon as I turned it off, she asked,

"Where are we?"

"At my place," I answered with a smile.

"Oh really? Nice, so we're having dinner here?" she asked.

"Yeah, I figured I've seen your apartment so it's only fitting that you get to see mine," I replied, still with the same smile on my face.

"Oh, so this is what you meant before. You're right, I am too overdressed to just simply have dinner at your place," she said and instantly started laughing. I shot a sarcastic smirk her way and got out of my car. She followed suit and we walked up to my apartment. Once inside I gave her a brief tour of my small home, making sure to keep the stop at my bedroom very short due to the messy state it was in. I quickly turned the lights on and off so she couldn't get a very good look at it which got a pretty good laugh out of her.

I made sure that my phone was missing in action just in case a possible evening-breaking phone call or text message came through that I really didn't want to share with Shea. I showed her to the dining room table where I already had everything set up from earlier. By the look on her face, I could that she was impressed.

"Everything looks great Patrick, this is very nice," she told me.

"Thanks, I figured a quiet dinner inside might be nice instead of going out. I really enjoy talking to you and thought this setting would be best for some more of our conversations," I replied.

"Wow, you are pretty insightful, that makes a ton of sense and I really like the fact that you decided to go this route. Different but unique and very intimate at the same time," she said.

Woah, she thought it was intimate! Very intimate. I guess I'm doing something right. I lit the candles on the table and dimmed the lights slightly. I could see the flames from the candles reflecting in her eyes as they danced around. I felt like dancing around a little at that moment, but I refrained myself. She might get up and leave if I all of sudden just busted out and started dancing. She smiled to herself a little. I could tell she was really trying to hold it back but a small smile still managed to slip out and spread across her lips. I first brought out the salad along with the assortment of dressings I had and set them on the table. We began to eat and she continued to express her approval of how well I put everything together. After our salad appetizer, we dined on the main course of chicken parmesan, rigatoni, and garlic sauce. Apparently it came out very well because she gave me a thumbs up upon her first bite. We went with the red wine I had over the raspberry lemonade and polished everything off with the carrot cake slices I had waiting in the wings. I was very pleased to see that she liked carrot cake as much I did. It only gave her extra points in my book which was nearly full by now of reasons why I liked her.

After we finished our carrot cake, she offered to stay and help me with the dishes but I declined and told her it wasn't necessary. Her company was really payment enough. I caught myself staring into her eyes quite a few times while we were eating. I can't explain it but they are somewhat enchanting. They compliment her already beautiful face so well, it's nearly impossible to stare. She's just so pretty. I wonder if she noticed.

She excused herself to the bathroom and I took the opportunity to start clearing the table and putting the dishes away. I was standing beside the dining table when she emerged from the bathroom and walked right up to me. Once again, her scent engulfed me and I was powerless to do anything except look at her. The way she walked, the way she moved, almost gliding across the floor ever so graceful was definitely a sight to see. She stood there smiling up at me for a little while and then gave me a hug and said "Thank You". I replied with a "you're welcome" and hugged her back.

"Are you ready to go?" I asked her.

She hesitated a little, looking around as if searching for some excuse to stay and finally turned back to me to reply.

"Um, truthfully not at all, I would love to stay longer and spend more time with you but I have to help a friend do something tomorrow morning and I should probably get some sleep. I'm really sorry, I don't want to be the one to cut the evening short," she answered.

"Oh not at all, don't even worry about it. It's fine, there will be other times, I'm sure," I said.

"Oh, are you? You seem pretty confident in your assumption," she joked.

"Well I'm not trying to sound conceited or anything but all I'm saying is I would like to see you again, hopefully more than once and should you feel the same way then there shouldn't be anything stopping us from hanging out another time or two," I responded.

"Hmmm, very well put. I agree and I'm looking forward to those times," she said.

"Great, ready?" I asked again.

"Yeah, we can go now," she replied with a sarcastic sad expression upon her face.

We walked outside, got in my car and I took her home. When we got to her door, she started fumbling with her keys again like she did the day we went to the market together. Finally, she got her door opened and turned to face me.

"Well thank you again Patrick for a really lovely evening. The food was fantastic and I loved your company. I didn't mean that joke earlier when I said I was too overdressed for simply dinner at your place. You just being around is good enough for me and I really enjoyed myself," she said.

I really wasn't expecting her to say anything along those lines. It seemed as if I actually did good and she was very pleased. I began to feel that small bit of confidence grow inside of me again. It felt really good. Not to just hear nice things about myself but to also know that she enjoyed her time with me. That was all the gratitude I needed from her.

"You are very welcome young lady, it was my honor and privilege and I can't wait until the next time either," I replied.

Then came the arrival of that awkward moment. The goodbye at the end of the evening. I had already made up my mind that I still wasn't going to try to kiss her. I didn't know how she felt about the "kissing situation" and I wasn't about to push it. We kind of just grinned at each other for a moment and then embraced in another hug. Once embraced with her, I figured I would try to kiss her on the cheek seeing how I haven't really shown any physical signs of affection towards her yet. When we pulled out of the hug, I aimed for her cheek but caught her lips instead. I was surprised. But I was in heaven and didn't care. We kissed for a good 4 or 5 seconds before parting and saying one final goodnight.

Needless to say my trip home consisted of a smile even bigger than the one I had when she kissed me on the cheek. I didn't even attempt to remove it. I let it shine on display like a merit badge I had earned. I felt like a little kid again. We had kissed, we had actually kissed. Furthermore, it wasn't simply a little peck, it was a KISS. Her lips felt like silk and cotton all rolled up together. They were tasty, very tasty. I began to wipe off the lip gloss or Vaseline or chapstick, whatever it was that her lips left on mine. I almost wanted to leave it there but I had to keep some kind of manly dignity. It was perfect, the evening was perfect, she was perfect, life was perfect right now and I didn't want that feeling to end.

I got home and didn't even bother to finish cleaning up. I was still basking in what had just happened. Usually I would be on my "don't fall in love" emotion right about now but I didn't care. She kissed me, so obviously she really liked me. Whatever happened next would simply develop on its own because I surely wasn't going to push anything. We kissed; I replayed the event over and over in my mind for about ten more minutes before I remembered I left my phone to spend the night alone. I went to retrieve it and saw I had a text message. I opened it up and guess who it was from; Shea. She wrote:

_I wanted to thank you yet again Patrick_

_Tonight was absolutely wonderful_

_I haven't had an evening like this in a very long time and I owe it all to you_

_You looked rather handsome tonight and your meal was the best_

_I had a lot of fun and look forward to doing it again soon_

_Also, I'm glad you kissed me most of all_

_I could tell you were nervous about it as was I but I'm very happy it happened_

_It was very nice, very nice indeed_

_Talk to you soon, goodnight_

The smile on my face grew even wider and felt as if it would become a permanent expression on it. I wrote her back admitting that I was nervous about kissing her but I was very glad it happened to. I also said I enjoyed the evening very much as well and wished it could have lasted longer then ended the message with a "sweet dreams". I think I like her, I mean like a lot. But I suppose we'll see how everything turns out. I brushed my teeth and went straight to bed with no doubt that my dreams would be filled with memories of the evening and the first kiss that we shared. Good luck to me getting her out of my head for the next couple of days. More like weeks. I saved her text message to me so I could recount what she said anytime I wanted to as well to keep it as proof that the night actually happened and I wasn't in fact already dreaming. I don't know what's going to happen between us but I really like where it's going so far.

_To be continued…_


	6. Chapter 8

I woke the next morning with Shea on my mind, as if I didn't know that was going to happen. My dreams the night before were saturated with her. It was like an on-going movie stuck on replay or better yet, like a highlight show of our date recapping all of the best parts. Being that it was Saturday morning, I just laid in bed for a little while revisiting the previous evening over and over again. I went to grab for my phone to look at her text message once more but didn't want to over-indulge myself. I was still afraid of becoming attached to her. Possibly falling for her and not have her feel the same way. It was like a phobia of mine. Something that just refused to go away. Still wondering how long it would be before she got tired of me or found someone better. Pulling myself out of it, I reminded my fragile and non-existent ego that it was way too early to worry about such matters. My mind seemed to understand my plight pretty well but my heart refused to hear any of it. Still wounded from the last disaster and realizing that the reality of the situation had a "10" once again showing interest in me, possibly a "6" or "7" at best. This doesn't happen too often in real life and when it does, it usually doesn't last very long. Furthermore, the concept of me being her "rebound guy" didn't help my chances. A girl's "night and shining armor" fantasy can block their own sense of reality and what they really want in a guy. Having recently been in an assuming bad relationship that I am still unaware of any of the details about, she may still have those "nice guy blinders" on. Blinders that will eventually fall off when she realizes that I am nothing too special.

I got out of bed, avoiding my phone, and decided that this was not the time for a self inflicted pity party but a time for celebration, a small personal one, for a first date gone perfect. Although I was itching to contact her right then and there, I held back not wanting to seem like a clinger. Plus, she did say that she had to do something with a friend this morning. I walked into the kitchen which still had the remains of our dinner last night that my own personal cloud 9 floated me right past when I got home. I began to put things away and made myself a celebratory breakfast of milk and cereal.

As I plopped down on my couch to watch the remaining Saturday morning cartoons, yes I still try to keep up with my Saturday morning cartoons, I could actually feel my feelings for her growing stronger. The harder I tried to focus on my cartoons, the more I couldn't. What is it with me and feeling this way about girls that I have just met? I've known her for a little less than a week and I am already falling into some kind of deep like for her. Happens to me almost every time.

I coached myself after the last time to not allow myself to reach this point again so soon. It wasn't fun, not at all. Constantly thinking about someone, especially when you two haven't even met a classification yet. We aren't boyfriend/girlfriend as of yet, no. Still too early. How long is a good enough time to wait before making that determination? Is there a possibility that she hasn't shown her real side yet? Will she eventually get on my nerves? Is she thinking these same things as I am? Questions, so many questions that I didn't have the answers to and wasn't sure if I even wanted to find them out. For all I know, the answers that I sought could be extremely disappointing. Not being able to control your emotions sucks. It really does. If only we had the ability to regulate who we liked and who we didn't like. Who we wanted to fall in love with and who didn't deserve to be loved by us.

Alas, that ability does not exist. At least for those of us who are normal. Sometimes I wished I could be like my friends or my brother. So smooth and cool enough to meet and date girls and then simply move on to the next one without becoming attached somehow and not allowing those girls to even get the chance to possibly break their hearts. That was my other issue, afraid of having my poor little vulnerable ticker smashed into a million little pieces once again. It's a frightening thought, especially when you feel this way about someone. It can be crippling even, paralyzing. But the end result is that life goes on, unfortunately. You move on and find someone else, or maybe not.

Deciding to end another one of my many sermons about love, I finished up my cereal, completed the task of cleaning the kitchen and decided to go for a bike ride to help clear my head. Still desperately yearning to contact Shea, I stood strong and resisted. I was proud of myself. But I still wondered if she was thinking about me and how much? I wondered if the friend she was helping was another female and if she was sharing our evening with her. The more I make myself busy, the harder it will be for my mind to wander off into such self-esteem lowering waters. My bike ride was nice. The afternoon air was crisp and not too hot, signifying that fall was on the way and soon beach season would be over. My thoughts quickly flashed a mental guess at what Shea would look like in a bikini. Niiiiicccce… Maybe that could be our next date or at least a hang-out session. We could go to the beach and just relax and talk and spend time with each other. Good idea, I'll store that one for later.

After my bike ride, I returned home and showered up. It was around 3 o'clock in the afternoon by now and I wondered what Shea was doing. I really wanted to see her again but felt like it was too soon and didn't want her to become tired of me. But I was still wrestling with the idea about calling her. I toyed with the notion for about half an hour before I finally gave in and figured I'd shoot her a text:

_I should of let you stay and help me with the kitchen, it wasn't easy._

About thirty seconds later, my phone chimed with a possible response from her:

_I told you to, I'm good at cleaning up too. It would have been fun._

She was right, I'm sure it would have been a lot of fun. It would have also been very difficult for me to wash dishes and put away food with her looking the way she did last night.

Shea: _What r u up 2?_

Me: _Nothing much, went for bike ride earlier, now I'm just chilling out. How 'bout u?_

Shea: _I actually just got back from helping my friend pick out a dress for a wedding she had today._

Me: _So basically u guys went shopping, 2 women shopping, always a fun time._

Shea: _Lol, u know it. I actually told her about u._

Me: _Yeah? What did u say?_

Shea: _Well I told her that we always have great conversations and that last night was another huge plus for u._

_I said that u deserved an award for the evening that u created. It was really nice and I loved it._

Me: _Nice, what did she say?_

Shea: _She said I sounded kind of flighty and giggly like a little school girl whenever I spoke about you._

_It was weird I admit, I haven't felt that way in a long while. Kinda caught me off guard._

Me: _Schoolgirl, really? That doesn't even sound like you._

Shea: _I know, that's why it's so crazy, but I like it._

Me: _Well, I'm glad I could be of service._

Shea: _Lol, you think you're funny, don't you?_

Me: _Sometimes…_

Shea: _Whatever Mr. Smooth, you must be luvin' this._

Me: _Can't lie…I am._

Shea: _Lol, at least u r honest._

Feeling like the conversation was going very well, I decided to just go for it and tell her what I was thinking about all day.

Me: _To tell the truth, I've been thinking about you all day._

Shea: _Really? What about me?_

Me: _ur eyes and ur smile._

Shea: _Thx, but my eyes? Really?_

Me: _Yea, they r beautiful, u don't think so?_

Shea: _Well I never really got compliments about them and never actually thought about it before._

Me: _Well they r, they r pretty captivating, I was tryin not 2 stare into them 2 much last night._

Shea: _Wow, thx Patrick._

Me: _Np, ur very welcome._

Shea: _Since we r sharing things, I can't stop thinking about ur lips._

Me: _Really?_

Shea: _Nope, I just can't. They r soft and pretty tempting. I wanted 2 keep kissing u last night._

Me: _Yeah? Well that makes 2 of us._

Shea: _I'm glad u feel the same way. There'll be other chances._

Me: _Looking forward to it._

After hearing all of this from her, I didn't feel so bad about revealing that I had been thinking about her the entire day. It seemed that maybe she _had_ been thinking about me as well. That was a good feeling. A very good feeling, knowing that my feelings were being reciprocated. Her telling her friend about me had to be a good sign as well. Duh! Women are very real with their friends. Especially when it comes to telling each other about guys. Unless she was lying which she really didn't have any reason to, she had shared her thoughts about me with her friend. All very good thoughts.

We finished our text conversation a couple minutes later and I figured I'd let her be for now. I still very much wanted to see her again but some off time in between days was a good thing. I just wished I could stop thinking about her. She invaded my mind and I had absolutely zero defenses against her. Nothing to even try to prevent an onslaught of thoughts about Shea presented itself. I felt as if I had become infatuated with her. Maybe she _was_ the one, who knew? I found myself considering what marriage would be like with her. We had no problem talking to each other, we liked a lot of the same things and I felt like I could really just be myself around her and not feel judged or like I wasn't good enough to be in her company. Also, of course, I had no problem at all finding her very attractive. Our personalities were different but similar at the same time. It was great. My doubts about her becoming tired of me slowly began to fade away and I felt a lot better about everything.

It was still weird; I hadn't even considered marriage to be an option for me again in a very long time. I felt like it was impossible for me to actually be in a committed relationship where I'm not getting hurt. Where everything was 50/50. No, more like 100/100. It was something I desired so bad; I wrote it off believing it to be simply somewhat of a fantasy of mine. Usually a guy's fantasy consists of two or more beautiful women serving him as he sees fit. Although, I do share very much in the popularity of wanting to find myself in a situation like that, my utmost fancy is to simply be happy with one person for a long, long time. I wonder if Shea could be that person. But with only a week in, I couldn't tell.

The rest of the day kind of drifted by with me watching a couple of movies and then meeting up with some friends to play basketball. After the game, I returned to my car to find that Shea had left me a message about a half an hour ago. It read:

_Hey, what r u doing?_

So, I wrote back and told her I just got finished playing basketball and was headed home.

Shea: _Oh, nice. Hope u won._

Me: _Of course._

Shea: _Lol, good…well, I just came from the record store and I uh,…ran into Xander._

I wasn't really surprised, to be honest. My life had a way of presenting me with a rather big high and then hitting me with something that would bring me crashing back down. Scared to ask, I wrote back:

_Really? What happened?_

Shea: _Well…he kissed me._

_To be continued…_


	7. Chapter 9

Those words said separately in any other scenario wouldn't have carried all that much weight. Together they created a weapon formed of hurtful syllables. Even though I was quite used to riding my rollercoaster life of emotional ups and downs, I wasn't prepared to protect myself against a statement such as that at this very moment.

Although I tried my best to conceal my disappointment and obvious hurt, I couldn't control the speed at which my lungs were consuming and spitting out air. If we were speaking over the phone, it might have sounded as if I was hyperventilating to her. The perspiration pouring out of my head was no longer from the basketball game. It was like every bad moment from the last time all came rushing back at the exact same moment. It was nearly unbearable. Yes, unbearable, but I forced myself to at least seem as if I was remaining calm. I had to. I couldn't let Shea know that this was affecting me in such a drastic way. It not only screamed out "over-reactor" but probably "weirdo" as well. I might as well write "Don't Date Me" in bold black letters across my forehead.

I finally got my breathing back under control and wiped my face free of my nervous sweat. Quite afraid to ask her anything else and frankly not knowing what else to ask, I hesitantly typed:

_Oh…um, really?_

The poor excuse for a question came out nearly as a whisper in my head. I quietly and reluctantly waited for her reply.

_Yes, he did. I'm still quite shocked about it. I, really don't know what to say about it._

Me: _Well, how did it happen?_

Shea: _Hold on, I'm gonna call you._

I was glad and unwilling at the same time to talk to her. It was one of those situations and discussions that you should have at least an actual verbal discussion as opposed to texting back and forth but I was also afraid to speak to her for fear of spinning out of control again and having her hear it in my voice. But all in all, I was excited at the thought of hearing her voice again. I hadn't heard it since last night after we kissed. That's right, we had kissed the night before. But now, the last set of lips to touch hers no longer belonged to me. They were owned by someone who was obviously going to do anything he had to do to get her back.

Again, I hadn't been in many fights in my life but when something that I held very dear to me was threatened, it became a second nature not to let it go. Had Shea become that important to me? Had she already captured a part of me that I was trying so hard to protect against this happening to? I wasn't sure. I just didn't know. But the sheer fact that I was even having these thoughts about her said a lot about the impression that she had left. Apparently she left a pretty lasting one without me even realizing it.

I stared at my phone until it rang with her number and I answered:

"Hey," I said.

"Hey," she replied back. She answered so softly and so quietly, you could hear the remorse and regret in her voice. I hadn't wished that she feel bad about the situation but I admit it was reassuring and a little comforting that she did.

"So, what's up?" I asked.

"Um. I don't know what happened Patrick. It's all just kind of a blur. Even though it only happened today, I can't explain how or why it did," she said. Her voice was beginning to tremble a little. I could tell it was really bothering her to talk about it. Even though I was curious as to how this kiss came to be, I decided I wouldn't push her to tell me.

"If you don't want to talk about it, I understand. You don't have to. It's ok," I assured her.

"No, I haven't told you any real details about our relationship and I really appreciate you not prying. I need to tell you about this, especially after the wonderful time you gave me last night", she said. "I'll tell you"

"Oh, ok," I answered.

"I went to the record store to just look around, I was bored and didn't want to keep bothering you so I drove there. I ran into Xander, or he followed me, I don't know really. Needless to say, he was there. At first, I tried to give him my usual cold shoulder but he seemed different. The way he said "Hi" was different. He almost seemed normal, like he was sad about something. He has done this routine before so it didn't faze me. But he didn't try to keep me from walking away. He just said he was sorry about everything and that he really wasn't following me. He apologized for the grocery store, both times. Then he said although he knew that I didn't want to see him, it was nice to have bumped into me again. Then he began to walk away", she explained.

As she told the story, her voice remained at a steady sad tone. When she got to this break in the tale, it almost sounded as if she was forcing back tears.

"I know that I should have just let him walk right on by and keep going but for some reason I couldn't," she continued. "I told him to wait and asked what was wrong. He seemed very reluctant about telling me but finally he said that his aunt was very sick and had been admitted to the hospital earlier this week. I think it might have been the day I ran into him at the market by myself. He and his aunt are very close. She practically raised him as a kid because his mother and father weren't really around like that for him. When we were dating, I became kind of close to her as well. She treated me like a daughter. So when he told me this, it felt as if someone from my own family was in the hospital. It was weird; we kind of just stood there for a while after he told me. I told him I was very sorry to hear that and asked if there was anything I could do. He said other than the obvious, there wasn't anything. I started to tell him to keep me updated but then realized that I also told him to never call me again so I scrapped that idea. So I just said that I would keep in touch for his aunt's sake and we said our goodbye's…but, but as I turned to walk away I felt his hand on my arm. He pulled me toward him and kissed me…and, and I didn't stop it. I know I should have, but I didn't and I really don't know why," she said.

As painful as this was to hear, I figured I should keep my cool and be the bigger person by not getting upset and saying something that I know that I would regret immediately. Calmly, I suggested:

"Perhaps (cleared my throat)…well perhaps you still have feelings for him," I responded. I didn't want to say that. I mean I really, really didn't want to say that. But it seemed obvious. She would have pulled away if she didn't want to kiss him. Apparently the situation was pretty heavy. It clearly contributed to it. What else was I supposed to say? It was a touchy subject.

Giving him the benefit of the doubt, I don't think any decent human being would make up a story about their aunt being sick just to get inside their ex-girlfriend's head. Or would they? I quickly removed the accusation from my thoughts figuring everything she had just told me was the truth. However, I still didn't know how to go about reacting to everything she said. We weren't exactly a couple and I didn't even know if we were really dating yet. We had a series of phone conversations, a shopping trip that nearly turned bloody and one official date. What does that equal exactly? I wasn't really sure. But the kiss that we shared had to multiply the equation to being a little more than just friends. That much I did know.

"At first I thought that I might, but then I figured maybe it was because I was sad and felt sorry for him because of his aunt. Maybe it was a combination of everything. We did have some very good times. But the bad times ruled out all of the times that I did enjoy with him. I don't know why I let it happen but I do know that I shouldn't have," she responded.

"So, what happened after the kiss, did you guys say anything to one another?" I asked.

"Nothing much, he apologized for kissing me, stared at me a little and then left. I immediately left the store and texted you," she answered.

"Oh, ok," I said. I not only didn't know what to say but I didn't want to say anything at all as well. There really wasn't much from my side of the situation that I could say.

"Patrick, I feel as if I should apologize to you. I know we haven't actually discussed "us" yet but last night truly was wonderful and I can't stop thinking about it or you. I'm not quite sure if I'm completely ready for another relationship just yet but I also wouldn't want to lose a person such as you in my life," she said.

Well there it is, isn't it? She called me a "person". There's nothing wrong with being a person, but with her, I wanted to be more than just a person. It's the same as being just a friend. Instead of the friend zone, I've been placed in the "person zone". Changing the title doesn't change what it is and what it's meant for. Bottom line, I'm not relationship material for her. Not yet anyway.

"Oh, well, you don't have to apologize to me. You're right, we haven't discussed anything as far as "we" go and I have to respect any decision you may make. It is your life, not mine and you can obviously do whatever you want. I know you don't need me to tell you that, but it is the truth and I can live with that. I actually have no choice other than to live with that," I said.

"You're right, I can make any decision I want but the decision that I made to not continue a relationship with Xander still stands and although I don't know whether or not I'm ready for a new one, I do know it won't be with him," she explained. "It wasn't a healthy situation to be in and I'm much happier now that I'm free of it. Apparently there are still some type of feelings there for him, you may be right about that, but they aren't loving ones"

Ok, so she doesn't want to be with him, I didn't think so. I actually wasn't really worried about that. What I want to know is how she feels about me. She likes me, I'm aware of that, but how much?

"Well, that's good to know. I'm glad you're at a happier time in your life now and you were able to escape the negativity of that situation and I hope you find everything that you are looking for…as far as that goes," I responded.

"You sound as if you think I want to try to find it somewhere else," she said.

"Uh, do I?" I answered. "I, guess, I, I really don't know what I should say right now, actually, I'm just trying to…ok, look, I like you. I do. I won't lie or beat around the bush in saying that but I, having also been in a bad relationship, understand your reluctance to want to begin a new one so I'm not going to push you into anything. I won't. You can rest assured about that. I just, I don't know, I would love to spend more time with you I guess and if something did happen between us then I wouldn't exactly be upset about it,"

All of it just kind of came out. I didn't know what else to say and my heart just sort of took over and the words just sort of flowed out all by themselves. Like song lyrics. I didn't want to scare her, but I wanted to make her aware, somewhat, of how I felt about her at the same time. It was scary, although I didn't quite scratch the surface of my feelings for her, it was still scary to say all of that. No one, especially me, likes to put themselves out there like that. It feels like you're hanging by a thin wire above a pit of spikes without any safety net or partner to assist you. The wrong response from your object of affection can easily cut that wire and, well you get the point.

"Well, wow, I mean I had a feeling you liked me. I could tell by the way you kissed me last night. Anyone can take someone out on a date but the vibe and connection that you put out there towards me made me feel well worth the effort to you. Your kiss put the seal on all of that. I like you too, Patrick. I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to share that with me which makes it that much easier for me to say this. Though I'm not quite sure about my "relationship head" just yet, you would obviously be in the forefront of the running for one. I'm just not ready yet. You're very sweet not to push me into anything and I thank you for that. This past week has been the best week I've had in a long while. Before I can put my heart out there again, I need to do some re-evaluating of my own intentions and wants in a man and a relationship. I need to do that so I don't hurt you as well," she said.

"That makes sense and I can't be upset at that. My heart and emotions are not the strongest they've been right now either so we are on similar plateaus I guess," I said.

"It would seem that we are," she responded.

We talked a little while more and then said our good-byes. I started my car and drove home with a head filled with thoughts. Recounts of our conversation, jumbled emotions and a love sick heart. I guess that was the best way to put it, I was love sick. I yearned for love. I craved to be with someone but not just anyone, her.

I think we matched pretty well and got along on another kind of level. I wanted so bad to tell her that I would take care of her. Not in the way of compromising her independence or wanting her to sacrifice parts of her life to be a part of mine. But take care of her in the way of she wouldn't ever have to worry about me hurting her.

I know everyone makes mistakes, people get mad at each other and fight and quarrel and stuff like that but I wouldn't break her heart, ever. I was absolutely sure that she was someone I was positively incapable of hurting, on purpose anyway.

I would never cheat on her, I would never lie to her, I would never do anything that would bring her pain. She seemed like she had already dealt with enough of that in her life and didn't need any more. I wanted to be the one to make her happy. But I didn't want to be the "nice guy" that came along after a horrible experience just to make her feel better. I wanted to be "the guy". The one that she knows she can confide in. The one she knows that she can call on anytime for whatever reason and he'll be there. If I'm not there, I would have a really, really good reason. I wanted to tell her that I wanted to be that guy for her. Because of her. But, once again, too early in our "thing" to make that sort of declaration of love.

I said it again, the "L" word. I need to stop referring back to it but it keeps coming back up. The only word beginning with the letter "L" I can use right now when it comes to Shea is "like" or "lovely", because I do and she is.

When I got home, I showered up, got a snack and plopped down on my couch to chill out a bit trying to get her and that kiss with "him" out of my head. But it was nearly impossible. Lovesick, that's me. I couldn't shake the feeling, couldn't discard it, and couldn't do anything with it. She was on my mind 24/7 and there wasn't anything I could do about it.

Right before midnight as I was watching some late night horror flick, a text came through on my phone:

_Thx for listening today Patrick. I kno that couldn't have been ez to hear and Im sorry again. I hope Im not stringing u along, u really r a great guy. Sleep tight, tlk to u tomo._

Yeah, I'm a great guy. Just a great guy. Nothing more, but thankfully I suppose, nothing less.

_Np, ne time, and thx btw. G'night to u too._

I restrained myself from saying so much more once again. "Just let it go and see what happens" is what I kept telling myself. Tomorrow brings new possibilities and hopefully new realizations is what I thought as I drifted off to sleep. I know, lovesick.

_To be continued…_


	8. Chapter 10

I awoke the next morning very tired and still very uneasy. Tired due to a restless night of tossing and turning. Tossing and turning due to my uneasiness. Uneasiness due to my failed attempts to stop thinking about what happened the day before. Thinking about the day before due to…well you get the point. The weather outside my window reflected my mood perfectly. There was a hurricane warning in effect for all of today but it was expected to decrease into a just a mild rainstorm. Mother Nature must be keeping track of my emotions. She knew exactly the stage to display for this, the day after...

Most people probably wouldn't consider this a rainy day affair, but I am not most people. I also, unlike most people, love the rain. I find it calming, soothing and a great backdrop to cuddle up with your girl and just hang out or do some other things, if you know what I mean, together. Still sleepy, kind of groggy and with a mind of thoughts that resembled a cluttered closet, I realized that I had fell asleep on the couch last night and the television had been watching me the entire time. I trenched over to the bathroom to wash my face and do my morning routine before crossing over to the kitchen to get some breakfast.

Waffles were my choice for the morning with a thick layer of syrup and a glass of orange juice. As I prepared my two-minute breakfast, I still had Shea on my mind. It wasn't just the kiss at the record store that had me bothered but the fact that she might still have some serious feelings for the person she shared it with. On top of that, she still sounded as if she just considered me to be a friend. I know it was early between us, I know this, but to still be just a friend is well a very painful realization.

Ok, so she said that I was at the forefront of her relationship running or whatever she had called it but that just wasn't enough for me. I didn't want her to make a final decision about us right now but it seemed as if she was fighting her feelings for me. Just let it happen, it's not forcing anything if you just…let…it…happen. That way, you know it was real without any unnecessary influence from either one of us. That's all.

I understand being afraid of opening up again to someone else. Believe me, if there's anyone that understands that concept, it is me. But I also realize that unfortunately you cannot control your feelings. You can't control the degree or amount at which they come out. You feel what you feel and that is the way that it is. All you can do is accept it and make a choice on whether to act on it or not.

I had chosen not to act on it. I wanted to tell Shea how I really felt about her. Yes, in a mere week, I had discovered some very strong feelings for her but I knew how to conceal them, to an extent. I had to conceal them. If not, then she would surely think I am crazy or something. I wasn't ready to make the final decision about us either but I gave up on fighting my feelings for her a while ago. It was just a futile battle that I couldn't win.

After continuing to pointlessly deliberate over this notion for a couple of minutes, something struck me. A thought I hadn't really stopped to think of before. What if she didn't actually like me? Despite the good things that have happened between us, it could still be a possibility. I didn't stay on this thought for too long, however. With all of the negativity that I had surrounded myself with, that might prove to be the stake through the heart.

I decided to stop going back and forth about these ideas and accusations that were constantly prancing through my head. But try as I might, it was probably one of the hardest things to do. I did feel ridiculous making myself miserable over this. The main reason that it was eating away at me was probably because I was allowing it to. But I didn't know how to curb its appetite. My emotions and feelings for Shea were the main course and my insanity would probably turn out to be the dessert.

Should I give in and tell her how much I like her? Key word being "like" here. Should I take the risk? I figured the revelation she made yesterday about being unsure about us told me whether or not I should. I imagined that I had. That I had poured my heart and soul out to her and received a less than desired response. So once again, I stood strong in my choice. I would simply suffer in silence and keep my feelings to myself.

Later in the day, the rain continued to pour down. The sound of water hitting my windows was like a solace to me. It was relaxing and very calming. It helped bring me some well deserved and much needed peace. Tranquility is what I required most right now. Time to allow myself to rest my mind and especially my emotions. Many men are accused of thinking with the wrong head much of the time. With me, that thinking is usually done by my heart. I have a big one but it still does a wonderful job of getting me into trouble. I'm surprised that I still have one, a good one anyway. A normal person would have turned to a life of womanizing and dishonesty by now. But for some reason, some strange, pathetic reason, I can't. I can't intentionally hurt someone. Especially if they haven't done anything to me to deserve it.

It was this notion that prevented me from just giving up on the "Shea" situation. She hadn't really done anything to me. So I couldn't punish her for the misdeeds of other members of her gender. It just wouldn't be right. I laid on my couch staring up at the ceiling listening to the raindrops fall. I wondered what Shea might be doing right now. I wondered if she was talking to Xander. Then I wondered if maybe she was thinking of me at this very same moment. Afraid to return to that thought process, I tried to occupy my mind with other things. Was it going to rain all week? It would fit my mood nicely if it did. It would also make a good environment for sleeping. At least I wouldn't be able to think of her while I slept, hopefully. Sometimes she still found her way into my dreams.

At that moment, my phone rang. I figured it would be her since I hadn't heard from her all day. I suddenly became unsure if I even wanted to speak to her right then. The guitar solo continued as I reached for it and looked at the screen. It was her. The other her. I admit it was never necessarily a good time for me to receive a call from her but now was probably the king of those times. I let it ring out, set my phone back down, and continued to listen to the rain pour down. Unexpectedly, the guitar solo started over. Who could it be now? This time surely had to be Shea. No, it wasn't. It was her once again. Twice in a row, was it that important or just another waste of time? I gave in and decided to find out. "Hello?"

"Oh, hey there. I didn't expect you to answer, I was going to leave you a message this time," said Jenalee.

"What's up?" I replied in a low and slightly annoyed tone of voice.

"I, uh, I'm sorry for calling you. I hope that I'm not disturbing you. I was…well I was sitting here looking out at the rain and I remembered how much you like the rain so I wound up thinking about you for like the last hour. I was deliberating whether or not I should even bother calling you…," she replied.

"So, you decided to take that chance I see," I said.

"Well yeah, I finally did. I just uh, wondered how you were doing. I know I pissed you off Friday by calling you but I hoped you might feel a little different today," she explained.

"I assume you thought this because it's raining?" I asked.

She chuckled a bit, then replied, "Yeah, actually I did. I know it sounds silly, but you were always at your calmest whenever it rained. I hoped that that didn't change"

"I suppose that's true, I can't lie," I responded.

"Something else I remember very well about you, you were always terrible at lying, haha," she joked.

"Yeah, it's just not a part of me," I said.

"You're right but that's a good thing, something that you should never change about yourself," she said.

"I don't plan on it. I'm done trying to be someone else for people. It's really not worth it," I said.

"No, it's not. You're right. You shouldn't have to and you shouldn't have had to," she paused for a moment then said, "Listen, I'm sorry that I made you feel like you had to do that -"

I cut her short, "Jena, please do me a favor and just don't. I know where you're going with this but I don't want you to, so just don't, ok?"

"Ok, I won't," she practically whispered back to me. She was speaking so softly and so sweet, her voice sounded, well, nice. Very nice. No doubt she was doing this purposely.

She knew how many things about a female I appreciated that were often taken for granted; a woman's eyes, her voice, the flow of her hair, the way she walked, the way she carried herself, her smell and of course her voice among the other obvious things. The way a woman could make her voice sound so intriguing, so attractive, and even seductive often drove me crazy, in a good way. Having known me for six years, three of them dating me, you could say she was somewhat of an expert on what I did like and what I didn't. So, was she deliberately trying to get me to notice how she was speaking to me? Yes, yes she was. But I really didn't feel like getting into that with her, so I just let her continue.

"So…," I asked, "Is there a specific reason that you called today?"

"There is Patrick, yes, but you won't think that it was worth it," she replied.

"Ok, you got my attention, what is it?" I asked.

"I, uh, well just wanted to talk to you, to hear your voice. Without any arguments or fighting or getting upset from either of us. It's always a good thing to be able to talk to you. Talking to you is such a reassuring thing; you have a very soothing voice. It feels like no matter what's going on in my life or the world, that everything is going to be fine after talking to you," she explained.

"Oh, so you just called for your own benefit?" I joked.

"Haha, no, no I didn't. I called to talk to you. Just talk to you, about anything at all. It doesn't matter what we speak about. As long as it's with you, I really don't care what the topic is," she said, once again lowering her voice to barely just above a whisper nearly sounding as if she was going to cry.

"Are you ok?" I asked.

"Um, yeah, I'm fine. I know I've said this before but…I miss you," she replied.

"Now really? So, what is it about me do you miss?" I asked. "Because as I recall, there were a lot of things about me that you exactly cared for"

"I know I said a lot of nonsense about you in the past and I truly do regret it. I wasn't in my right thinking. I didn't know what I wanted then and I didn't…I didn't know what I had, with you, until it was too late," she said.

"So, what did you have with me?" I asked.

"I had a lot. More than I could have hoped for. You took care of me, you listened to my problems and concerns. You supported me with my goals and always found a way to make me feel better when I felt like giving up. You were always the positive one. I never stopped to think that I was treating you in a way that didn't allow you to keep any of that positivity for yourself. It's very true what they say about not knowing what you have until it's gone. I didn't know what I had with you and now it's over. I guess sometimes I just want to keep believing that it's not too late, that there's still a chance that me and you can have some type of future, but I always return to the reality of the situation," she said.

I was a bit surprised that she was pouring her heart out to me like this. She's confided in me before but never to this level. It was a little weird hearing her sound so vulnerable, especially about me. The last time I heard this kind of helplessness in her voice, she was confessing her feelings to me about another guy.

"Well, I wonder if you were thinking that when you felt the need to run around with…him," I stated.

"I had a feeling that you were going to bring that up," she said.

"Do you blame me?" I asked.

"No, Patrick, I don't. You have every right to. I am ashamed of what I did. I never should have hurt you. I don't know what came over me. I guess I craved a certain type of guy and he seemed to fit that mold. I was taken back and awestruck by him. I thought he was what I wanted and I made a terrible mistake," she said.

"So how do you know now that I am what you want?" I asked. "It took a couple of romps with whats-his-face for you to finally realize what it was that you wanted?"

"Unfortunately it did, I never should have let my lust and selfishness cloud my judgment. I just fell so far into a fantasy that had no chance of becoming a reality," she explained.

"I really don't know what to tell you, I've already said everything that I can possibly say. You know what you did, only you know exactly why you did it and now you have to live with the result as I have had to," I said.

"Ok, bear with me; just think about this for a second. Can you honestly say that there is no chance at all of us trying this again ever? Like ever again?" she asked.

"Yes"

"No fair, you didn't even think about it, Patrick!"

"Actually, I have. I've had a good amount of time to think about it and then think about it some more," I responded. "And the best conclusion I can come to is that there is no point on going backwards and potentially being hurt again. You have never been cheated on so you don't know what something like that feels like. Especially after you've allowed yourself to fall so deeply in love with that person. You were my world, Jena. My entire world. I admit that I shouldn't have made you into so much. I shouldn't have let myself put you so far up on a pedestal. That left me open, completely open and defenseless to the point that I was so shocked and crippled by what you did that I couldn't recover. I still don't believe I have completely gotten over that feeling. I did put a burden on you. A burden to try to live up to what I made you to be in my mind. That wasn't fair to you and perhaps that played a little into what happened. But needless to say, what happened happened and now it is in the past. It's time for the both of us to move on"

"I see, and I understand. I just wished it didn't have to be that way," she responded.

"Sometimes I wish the same thing but it is what it is and life goes on," I said.

"Speaking of life going on, I am curious about something…," she hinted.

"What might that be?"

"Have you found someone else?"

"Do you really expect me to answer to that?" I asked.

"I suppose not, but it was worth a try," she replied.

"Well, honestly, it isn't really any of your business, just as I haven't asked you whether or not you have found anyone else. It's your life and you are very free to do whatever you want to do," I said. "And it isn't any of my concern to ask"

"Well ok, fair enough I suppose. Maybe that will change in the future and we can begin to share things with one another again," she said.

"I think you're hoping against hope with that one but that's up to you," I replied.

"Ok, ok, I understand. I get it. I won't ask anything personal anymore," she stated.

"Thank you. Well, I have to go. Sooo…"

I didn't want to say "talk to you later" because I really didn't know if I did. I was surprised that I spoke to her for this long. Must be some kind of a record.

"Sooo…I'll let you go too then," I said.

"Ok Patrick, I, I really enjoyed talking to you again. Just like old times, it was very nice. I know I probably don't have a place to say this but don't change. Don't ever change, you are a very sweet and caring guy who any girl would be more than lucky to wind up with. Don't let the dumb mistakes I made mess that up," she said.

Again, she had that sweet, soft tone in her voice. I actually think she meant what she was saying.

"I will try," I responded.

"Good. Good-bye", she said.

"Bye"

I hung up and looked at the call time on my phone. We had been talking for about an hour. I felt the feeling of shock again. It was actually a pretty good conversation. Regardless of whether or not she meant and believed the things that she said, it was still a decent conversation. The best one that we have had in very long time. Perhaps the mood I was in, still reeling from Shea, played a role in my eventual willingness to speak to her.

Whatever it was, I don't know if I should allow it to happen again. I laid back on my couch and returned to my listening of the pitter patter of rain drops hitting my window pane. After a couple of minutes, I drifted off to sleep with the sounds of the rain still in my head.

I awoke from my nap a little while later by the ringing of my phone again. This time it was Shea. I hesitated again to answer trying to decide whether or not I should talk to her. Especially feeling the way I was feeling. Giving in to my desire to hear her voice, I answered her call.

"Hello?"

"Hey Patrick, what are you up to today?" she asked.

"Nothing really, just enjoying the rain," I responded.

"You like the rain?" she asked.

"Yeah, it's relaxing," I answered.

"Yeah, I kind of know what you mean. It can be romantic too," she said.

"That is true. So, what's going on?" I asked.

"Well, I've been sitting around here all day and thought I'd ask if you would like to maybe come over," she said. "The rain makes for a very "snuggle-up" kind of atmosphere and there isn't anyone else I'd rather do that with than you"

"Really? No one at all?" I asked.

"Nope, I assure you. I've been doing a lot of thinking and I really want to see you. So…can you come over?" she asked again.

"Hmmm, let me think…what's in it for me?" I joked.

I was joking with her, but I was seriously thinking about that. What _is _in it for me? Is this just another scenario when a female is feeling lonely and possibly confused and I am the only available guy that she can think of? I've been there before. A couple of times. After weighing the pros and cons, I figured what do I have to lose? Other than some more of my faith that real love exists out there. I'll bite the bullet and just see what happens.

"You're funny. Well, you get to see me and it's better to enjoy the rain with someone rather than be by yourself," she responded.

"I suppose," I replied. "Ok, I'll pass by for a little bit"

"Great, so I'll see ya soon then?"

"Yeah, talk to you in a couple"

"Ok, bye," she said.

I took my time getting dressed and walking to my car. Two reasons. The first was to not make her think that I rushed over there and the second was to savor the rain as I strolled to my car. I also took my time driving over to her apartment. When I got there, I took a pretty deep breath before getting out of my car.

I walked up the steps and knocked on her door. Not before long the door opened and I was staring into her captivating eyes once again. She looked great as usual even in "lounging around the house" wear. Sweatpants and a t-shirt never seemed so sexy before now.

"Hey there," she greeted.

"Hey," I greeted back.

I stepped inside and took off my wet jacket. She took it from me and hung it up to dry. I removed my shoes and followed her into the apartment.

"I'm so glad you came, I was a little afraid after yesterday that maybe you wouldn't want to talk to me again," she said.

"Well I thought about it. Came pretty close," I said.

"Did you really?" she asked.

She sounded a little nervous as she asked that last question.

"I'm just messing with you," I replied.

"Oh. I guess you would have a good reason if you did decide that," she said.

She led me over to the couch in the living room and we sat down. She turned and looked longingly at me. As if she hadn't seen me in a very long time.

"Listen, Patrick, I want to apologize again. I shouldn't have let that happen. It was wrong regardless of what I might have been feeling at the time. I, uh, well I like you. I do and I was struggling with whether I should admit it to myself or not. But the way I felt after what happened yesterday told me all I needed to know. I was compelled to talk to you and no one else when that happened. I've been thinking about you all night and all day today. I wanted to let you know that. I feel lucky to have met you," she explained.

Didn't I hear something like that earlier from a certain someone else?

"Oh, well I-"

I was cut off by the fact that she had suddenly leaned closer to me and cradled my face in her hands. She gazed piercingly into my eyes as if she was looking into my brain. She continued to lean closer and closer until before I knew it, she was kissing me.

_To be continued …_


	9. Chapter 11

I was instantly reminded of how soft and delicate feeling her lips were. Smooth and slick were her kisses. Aggressive as though she was attempting to curb an appetite for my mouth but passionate and meaningful all rolled up together. I, at first, firmly grabbed her hips and pulled her even closer to me as leaned back on the couch. She ran her hands all over my head and through my hair. By now I was completely laying on my back with her on top of me. We were two parallel lines of intense desire at that point.

I felt my arms holding her tighter and tighter. Seemed as if they had a mind of their own and wasn't waiting for my brain to react. I ran my hands all over her body feeling every curve and corner of it. My exploration of her body led me to a certain part which I was very fond of in females. My hands found their way to the very edge of the lower portion of her back and hesitated for a moment. Even they, operating under their own accord, knew that this might be a touchy area to further their research of her landscape.

The way that we were kissing and the heat of the moment made the decision for them and they continued on their way. Slowly smoothing my hands over her butt, I gave a good grab and felt the wonderfulness that it had to offer. It wasn't very big, no, but it was shaped to utter perfection. The already emptying pitcher of arousal that was pouring into my body at that point got a refill and overfilled my glass. I grasped her even tighter and from the slight moan that she gave, it was a sure bet that the she liked it.

Her hands themselves were conducting a little expedition of their own. They found a path from my head down to my chest and arms where they seemed to find a home. She was probably grabbing me harder than I was her. It was great. Going with the moment, I gave her lovely lips a break and proceeded down to her neck where I must have found a hot spot. She started to squirm and grind against me as if she was trying to start a fire using our bodies as the sticks. I placed one hand on the back of her head and pulled her neck closer to where my tongue would have a better range of motion. She followed suit by putting her hand on the back of my head and pulling me in even closer as well.

I traveled back towards her mouth taking in a breath on the trip and went back to work on her mouth. She really, really must have loved the job I did on her neck because she instantly filled my mouth with her tongue. I couldn't believe it, even her tongue tasted fantastic. It was like using my own tongue to smell that same scent that pulled me towards her that day in the café. I responded by using my tongue to invade her mouth as well. She kind of giggled a little but continued to kiss me. By now, I was so familiar with her backside that I could describe every nook and turn that it had. But still, I couldn't get enough.

I toyed with the idea about taking it a step further and running my hands under her shirt to feel the smooth bare skin that covered her back. But even with my hands driving themselves, they wouldn't go this route. I didn't have long to think about this however, she sat straight up, straddling me and ran her hands down her chest and across my stomach pulling my t-shirt up exposing them. By the expression on her face, I could tell she liked what she saw. She also took a little time to gently rub her fingers back and forth over my stomach. I knew going to the gym would pay off for something.

She kissed me once more before concentrating on my t-shirt again, this time pulling it completely over my head and tossing it on the floor. She then immediately crossed her arms grabbing either end of her own shirt and pulled it off in one swift motion. With her sitting there on top of me, I could see my imagination of what she looked like with no clothes on did her absolutely no justice at all. Her body was masterful. I instantly found my hands wandering over her stomach and her belly button piercing. Her breasts sat flawless within her bra practically calling out to me.

I grabbed her sides and snatched her back towards me. She made a little yelp but seem to appreciate the gentle roughness of my action. The feeling of her skin against mine was almost too much. My hands were in heaven, like two little kids in a candy store not able to concentrate on just one treat. So much sweetness, so little time. The feeling was fantastic.

My body switched its gears into an "I want it" disposition as I grabbed her with one arm and switched our positions placing her on the bottom. She hummed with delight and rolled her tongue in my mouth once more to show her approval. Now on top, I returned to her neck and her body returned to twitching uncontrollably. I took my tongue past her neck down to her chest and first buried my face between her breasts pausing for a moment to take it all in. Her hands went from gripping the couch cushions to clutching my head pushing it even further between her breasts than it already was.

I ran my hands under bra and cupped her breasts within my palms. They felt incredible. She then ran her hands down to my back and then over to my arms clutching them rather tightly. She wrapped her legs around my waist and began grinding on me without restraint. Soon her apartment was filled with the sounds of heavy breathing and Shea-produced moans. I slipped her bra off and my tongue found a dwelling spot upon her breasts going back and forth between each one not getting enough from either.

My hands transcended down to the drawstring on her sweat pants, untying it and then beginning to slowly pull them off. At first I thought she might stop me but she was all for it. She pulled one leg out and I kissed her inner thigh sending a shiver of pleasure throughout her body. As she started to pull her other leg out, one of the leading causes of mood killers occurred…her phone rang.

Loud and proud the jingle echoed throughout the now quiet living room. It was completely dark outside, the street lights had come on and I remembered that it was raining out. "Oh no…," she said in a tone of disappointment and I got off of her so she could move.

"Sor-ry"

"Nah, it's ok. Maybe you should get that," I responded.

"I don't really want to," she said. But it kept ringing and I could see in her eyes that she was kind of curious to find out who it was that had interrupted our "session".

"You should, it might be important," I said.

"Ooook," she said with a sigh. She reached for her phone which sat on the coffee table and answered it. "Hi Dad"

Wow, it was her father. We just had one of most intense rounds of making out probably in the history of making out and who wouldn't be more perfect to put an end to all of that than her father. Possibly very protective of his extra-hot daughter as well I imagine. I, honestly, thought the phone call interruption was the work of someone else. That would have made it even more fitting…and disappointing. But she probably wouldn't have answered if it was him.

During her brief conversation with her father, I could tell she was trying to rush him off of the phone, I began to think if doing what we were seemingly about to do was the right thing to do right now. It seeped in even further as my attention returned to the fact that we were both sitting on her couch half naked with her father on the phone. I looked over at her. Her pants half off, topless and her hair a mess, she still looked amazing to me bathed in the moonlight streaming in through her patio door which stood just adjacent to her couch. Her skin still glistened, her hair still shone, and her voice still sounded angelic although speaking to her father, I couldn't look away.

"Ok dad, ok, oohh k I got it. I'll call you tomorrow. Tell mom I said hi. Love you too. Bye," she said. "I'm so sorry Patrick, when he gets started it's like trying to stop a freight train or something"

"It's cool, my mom is the same way," I responded.

We both kind of looked at each other awkwardly and then looked at our clothes lying all around the floor and on the couch. I didn't know what to say. I know what I wanted to do but I didn't know if she wanted to do the same thing. Plus, I was still unsure if we should be doing what I wanted to do. Before I could speak, however, she said:

"Um, maybe this wasn't meant to happen just yet"

"Yeah, I was beginning to think the same thing"

"I mean, I'm not going to lie, it was wonderful…absolutely wonderful (her voice trailed off a bit as if reminiscing about the details of our romp), but in actuality it probably isn't the greatest idea right now," she said.

"I suppose you're right. A little too early for this kind of step. I agree…kind of," I replied.

She laughed at that last part, probably feeling the same way I did. Wanting so bad to continue what we had begun but also trying to be emotionally responsible about the situation. It was kind of weird how alike we thought. I had never had that sort of connection with a girl before. It was scary but also felt very nice.

"Maybe next time," I said.

"May-be," she replied with an almost disappointed look on her face.

"So I'll get dressed and leave, drive around the block, come back and then it'll be next time," I joked.

She instantly burst into laughter and sarcastically responded with, "Oh sure, yeah, because that's how it works"

"It is, that's the new way of doing things in these kinds of situations. It gets things moving faster so more can get done," I explained.

"Oh really? I see. I kind of agree with that reasoning to be honest. But I don't think we should try to push this any faster at this point. I like where we are so far. I like you," she replied.

"Well, you're alright I guess," I joked. She laughed again.

"Wait, just alright? That's it? I'll show you just how alright I am," she responded.

She came at me like she wanted to play fight but tripped on her sweatpants which was still attached to one of her legs and fell towards me. I caught her in mid-flight and we both fell on the couch with her landing on top of me. Our eyes met and we stared into the other one's pupils once more. We gradually leaned our heads closer and closer together until we began to kiss once more. Not like before, but with much more intimacy this time. After a minute, she pulled away and smiled at me.

"We have to stop meeting like this," she joked.

"I think this is the best possible way to keep meeting actually," I responded.

"You would. But I like meeting like this too," she said.

We kissed once more and then stood up. Realizing that she was still half naked, Shea frantically searched for her shirt which had made its way under the coffee table somehow. She put it on and pulled up her sweatpants as I slid my t-shirt back on and discovered my socks within the cushions on the couch. I have no idea how they managed to both come off but they did. She held my hand as she walked me to the front door and rubbed my back as I bent over to put my shoes back on.

We held each other in another loving embrace before kissing each other good-bye and I finally managed to exit her apartment. I pulled my jacket on as I walked out into the drizzle and got into my car. I caught a glimpse of the time. To my astonishment, it was already after 11. I figured I should get some sleep seeing as how a little thing called work was on the schedule for tomorrow.

As soon as I got home, I hung up my jacket and threw my clothes here and there only interested in finding my bed. Right after I laid my head on the pillow no doubt preparing to drift off into an instant replay of the evening but with a much different ending, my phone chimed with a message. It was from Shea, as if you didn't know. I read:

_Thk u for coming over Patrick_

_And not just becuz what happened happened but becuz I really needed ur company_

_2night and it felt wonderful 2 have u here_

_Oh, and if u were wondering, u were terrific_

_Although we didn't get 2 finish what we started_

_I loved it, u made me feel desired and beautiful again_

_I hope I was able 2 do something similar for u_

_Hope to talk to u tomo_

_G' Night_

Another seal to another good evening. The conclusion to today was not like it had begun at all. I was a little calmer about the Shea situation by now for obvious reasons but also because I still felt comfortable and appreciated around her although I was feeling a little way about the whole thing earlier. Regardless of the near sex that happened, it was nice just being around her. So I decided to tell her that.

_Funny u should say that becuz I feel the same way_

_I enjoy simply being around u even if nothing hadn't happened at all_

_Hope u don't tell ur father what he ended up interrupting_

_He might decide to call u more often_

_I'm glad I came over too_

_Have a good day tomorrow and sleep tight_

_Oh, and u were great too, sure I'll b dreaming about it all nite_

After a couple seconds, another message came through:

_LOL, yea he would call me every 5 mins_

_Glad 2 hear I did sumthing rite_

_Ill prob b dreaming of u too_

_Bye_

I laid back down and wondered for moment what all of this would mean for us now. More questions began to pop into my head but they were quickly displaced due to my mind much rather wanting to recount the events that took place on Shea's couch. I drew a mental blueprint of her body and studied it in my dreams. For now, my love sickness was cured. A healthy dose of Shea was what I needed. Hopefully I'd soon receive more shots of her medicine to prevent me from relapsing. I was indeed truly looking forward to it.

_To be continued…_


	10. Chapter 12

'Another Chance' Café…part 12

I could still taste Shea's lips when I woke up the next morning. Her scent, the feel of her body against mine, the texture of her skin was still so very vivid in my mind. I woke up clutching my pillow believing it to be her but instantly became sad when I realized it wasn't. I staggered into the bathroom to shower and prepare for the day that was to be work. After a whirlwind of a weekend, returning to work might present a nice change of scenery. Something to help prevent my mind from constantly asking those same questions that I was unable to shake off the night before. As I ate my breakfast made of toasted waffles and orange juice, I began to wonder yet again what yesterday meant. Did it actually mean anything at all? I mean it had to.

If not anything else it had to be one step closer to an imminent relationship between the two of us. Not just our evening of premature ending passion but everything that she told me. That I was in the forefront for a relationship for her. Although it does sound good, it's not like she had anyone else that was knocking down her door trying to be with her other than the ex-boyfriend. But he's someone that she isn't even interested in. She also said that after they unexpectedly kissed I was the first person she thought to call. I was on her mind the entire night and day and _she_ was the one who invited _me_ over. Honestly, I don't have any real competition other than her own feelings.

Being stuck between her feelings and her lips is not an easy place to be caught in. I have found that many females seem to have the same basic building blocks. Yes, everyone is uniquely different in their own way, whether they are man or woman but women appear to be crafted from the same essential mold. They are all very emotional creatures. Even the ones that claim to have no emotion and can jump from guy to guy without remorse. They have emotion, it's just buried deep within them and they refuse to show it for fear that it would expose a possible weakness and make them vulnerable. Becoming vulnerable, no matter what level it may be on, is never a feeling that anyone wants to find themselves caught in.

Making up their minds about things are not their strong suits. Women seem to like to leave others, especially men, hanging regardless of the situation or subject at hand. But especially in the area of romance. I felt as if this was what Shea was doing to me. It may not be on purpose, which I didn't think it was, but it was happening. I am not the world guru on being able to make up my mind either but when it comes to the opposite sex and the risk of things possibly becoming serious I can make a decision. I have been hurt before and share in the fear of even thinking of trusting someone else on that level again but I also realize that I can't simply push everyone away. No matter how badly I want to.

Yes, females are a complicated lot but there is the slight chance that quite a bit of that epic complication stems from their interaction and dealings with the other gender that they must contend with. I personally attempt to make the situations that I have been in with females as simple as can be. Therefore there's a much better likelihood that the success of them actually making a sound and unquestioning decision will happen. But you can't always get what you wish for. You can only throw your eggs in the basket and hope for the best. My eggs had been broken and made into several different omelets so I didn't know whether or not I should throw new ones into Shea's basket just yet.

I had this total realization during my drive into work. I actually failed to turn on the radio in order to hear and focus on my thoughts. I felt as if they were making pretty good sense. This sort of thing doesn't usually happen often so I was trying to savor the feeling. If only I could say insightful things like that when other people were around. Needless to say, these thoughts kept my mind off of the questions I was battling away. I wanted to stop thinking about them and kind of stop thinking about her. Even though last night happened, the way that things usually unfold within my life, the next major event would surely be something negative.

I arrived at work and my phone chimed with another message. To my surprise it was Shea, I had never heard from her this early in the morning before.

_I honestly can't stop thinking about u, hope u have a good day_

Then she left her work number and told me to call her sometime during the day. I was still surprised. Was she really feeling me that much or was it just because of last night? I thought about asking her as a joke but decided against it. I responded by telling her I hope she had a good day too and left my work number as well. Work might actually be delightful today. All because of her. I realized that she brightened up a lot of my days and not by doing much at all. The little things a girl does tends to capture my attention. A slight touch here or there, running their hands through my hair, an unexpected kiss, or just wishing me a good day at work. Little things.

My previous attitude of looking forward to work to help take my mind away from her and us was well on its way out the window. I now had the ability to speak to her while working and I was going to take it. No questions asked.

I pounded through work for the first hours of the day getting much of it done and out of the way. Two reasons. One, I actually felt like working. I felt like being efficient and doing my job. Everyone feels that way once in a while. This was my "once" and it definitely had been a while. Two, the more I get done now, the more time I get to speak to Shea later. I. Am. A. Genius. Period. Ok, so not the first time anyone had ever had an idea like that but I was proud of myself. I worked straight through until lunch time and after I ate I decided that it was time to give her a call.

I retrieved the number from my cell and dialed it in to my office phone. Not before long, it was ringing and I felt a slight jolt of nervous. Kind of like the first time I ever called her. It was weird.

_*ring-ring*_

_*ring-ring*_

After the second ring, someone picked up.

"Good Morning, Grayson Mortgage, Shea Caldwell speaking, how may I help you?"

Ok, so I know that I go on and on about the many assets that she has in her repertoire that absolutely make me melt. One of them being her angelic voice. But hearing her speak in a professional manner was another attribute of hers for me to go ga-ga over. A sexy woman with a sexy voice talking in a sexy professional tone. If she was a telemarketer trying to sell me something I would be broke…all the time.

"You can help me in so many ways, I don't know where to start," I answered.

"Heeey Patrick, I was wondering when you were going to call me," she responded.

"Well you can stop wondering now, how's your day been?" I asked.

"Eh, ok I guess. Work can only go so well. I'm here and I haven't wanted to throw myself out of a window yet, so it's been ok," she joked.

"Haha, you are crazy for sure. Your job can't be that bad," I said.

"I mean it's not horrible but it's not the greatest either but I suppose that's mostly everyone," she replied.

"Yup, you're right. Mine is the same way," I said.

"_How_ is your work day going while we're on the subject?" she asked.

"Eh"

"Haha, still got jokes I see," she said.

"Always. Nah, it's ok today. I've actually been making quite an effort to get work done so it hasn't been dragging which is very rare for a Monday," I said.

"Ugh, yes Monday's are the absolute worse. I wish I could take Monday's out back and shoot them," she joked.

"Haha, now you're the one with the jokes," I responded.

"Always"

"Well, I was thinking my dear…," I said.

"Yes?"

"How about me and you spend some time together tonight?" I asked.

"Wow, what kind of girl do you think I am mister? One hot, sweaty romp on my couch and you think I'm down anytime anyplace?" she asked.

"-oh whatever, very funny lady. Do you want to hang out or not?" I asked.

"Hahaha, yes of course I do. If it means I get to see you, I am always down for it," she replied.

"Ok, so I'll pick you up at 7"

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"Why must you always know?"

"I'm a female, I'm inquisitive,"

"You mean you're nosy"

"That too, but again, being a female I must know where I'm going in order to prepare in case I have to protect myself," she said.

"So all of a sudden you don't feel safe with me? You definitely weren't saying that last night," I replied.

"Oh wow, someone thinks a bit much of himself. I mean you should but you don't have to broadcast it," she said.

"Don't worry, I'll take care you. I will _always_ take care of you," I said.

After the words came out of my mouth, I realized just what I had said. What I had been thinking for days had just traveled through the phone and into her ear. She wasn't supposed to know that I cared for her that much just yet. I began to think just how I was going to play this one off.

"Oh, um, wow, you will?" she asked.

"Uhh, I mean like, whenever we go out. You won't, uh, ever have to worry about anything because, because, um, because I'll take care of you," I responded. A very poor attempt at playing it off. The cat was surely out of the bag. I had just made it worse and even more obvious.

"It's ok Patrick, I know what you mean, and it's ok. I know you won't let anything happen to me and I do feel safe around you. Very safe," she said.

"Oh, well ok then. Glad to hear that. Very glad. Um, ok, then I'll pick you up at 7 tonight and we'll hang out. I got to get back to work but I'll try to call you later," I said.

"Ok, good. Talk to you later, buh-bye," she responded.

Getting off the phone like that made it triple worse. She knew exactly how I felt about her now or at least she had an awfully good idea. How could I let that happen? It just fell from my lips as if my mouth had a hole in it that only dropped secrets like that about her _to her_. "I'll _always_ take care of you"? What in the world was I thinking? I just gave myself a whole speech about trying to not be all into her and then I say something like that. You know it's bad when your sub-conscious just goes off and all of a sudden decides to just do its own thing. Apparently she was already that deep inside of my mind and…my heart.

My day of efficiency kind of stalled after that conversation. My drive for working disappeared and all I wanted to do was sit on the computer and research the internet for ideas on how to build a time machine or memory removal. I wanted to go back in time and stop myself from letting those words burst out of my mouth or erase the evidence from her mind. The rest of the day consisted of me sitting with my thoughts and waiting for it to be over.

When quitting time came around, I slowly walked to my car and got in. As I closed the door, I suddenly remembered that I had asked her out earlier. We were supposed to spend the evening together. I half wanted to cancel it. I don't exactly know why but what I said to her placed me in that vulnerable category that I spoke of earlier. No, it didn't feel like a very comfortable place to be in. Sure she had said she understood and that it was ok and I know she definitely likes me too. But the way that I had said what I had said to her could have communicated something different. Something more. If someone had said those words to me in the context that I said them to Shea, I would think that they were feeling something long-term, something meaningful and serious. Was that really what I was feeling? Even after actually saying all of that right to her, I still didn't have an answer to my own question.

I drove home and jumped in the shower. I let the warm water pour over me as I still continued to think about what I said and how it might affect the evening. Would it make things awkward? What was she thinking? More answers that I didn't have. I turned off the water and dried myself off. I momentarily paused in front of the mirror to flex a little. That's how I check the progress that I'm making or not making with my workouts. As I was flexing, my memory jumped back to last night. It replayed the moment when Shea's hands were running themselves all over my chest and stomach obviously liking what they felt. Somehow this notion helped me to relax a little. Sure, I had revealed a major undisclosed sentiment to her but at the end of day, she liked me. The time for nervousness and panic attacks were gone and I needed to be smooth, or least as smooth as I could be.

After I got dressed, I checked the time and noticed that it was almost seven. I gave her a call to see if she was ready. She picked up on the second ring and sounded pretty glad to hear from me. I told her I was my on my way and should be there soon. Tonight, I was taking Shea to this little Italian restaurant that I had driven past many times before but never went inside. Never had anyone to go inside with. It wasn't really a place you go with your boys to grab a beer and talk sports or women.

When I got to her door, that slight feeling of nervousness returned right after I knocked but I quickly ignored it and told myself that I had nothing to worry about. A few seconds later, she opened the door and greeted me with the biggest smile that I have seen her flash yet. She wore a pair of jeans that perfectly fit every curve that she had to offer with a green tank top that revealed her elegant shoulders. I wanted so bad just to nudge her back into the apartment and reveal some more of her elegance but I resisted. Man, was I resisting. She said hi, leaned in and gave me a kiss on the lips. It felt nice to be at the point where we kiss now just to say hello. Actually, it was more than nice, it was quite awesome. I held her hand as I led her down the stairs and to my car.

We made small talk about our day as I drove to the restaurant. She teased me some more about not telling her where I was taking her and how secretive I was being about our dates. I replied by telling her that she needed to learn how to mind her own business which received a chuckle and a soft punch in the arm from her. The awkwardness that I was expecting was non-existent. Not even a tiny hint of it. This prompted me to take her hand and deliver a tender kiss to the back of it while still driving. I could see her smile without even turning my head. You could tell we just felt so comfortable around each other now. I'm sure what happened yesterday on her couch had something to do with it.

We arrived at the restaurant and her eyes instantly brightened.

"I've always wanted to come here!" she said. "Just never had anyone to go with"

It's like we have one brain, I swear.

"Yeah, me too. So now we can say our first time coming here was with each other," I replied.

"Well I'm glad it's with you," she said.

Ok, now it was my turn to smile. I couldn't help it. Usually I'm the one with the clever, mushy, romantic things to say that make all the females blush. Never really had it said to me before. It was a nice change of pace. She was consistently earning points with me and it seemed as if it was effortless to her. As if she wasn't even trying to be funny, caring and so damn beautiful all the time.

We entered the restaurant and were seated by the hostess in a booth next to a window. The display in the window was decorated so handsomely it screamed romance down to every angle. The Christmassy white lights and green garland were strung all around the edge of the frame with a little of it leftover to lay upon the edge our table. A couple of minutes later, the waitress brought us our menus and Shea ordered instantly. I raised an eyebrow at her speed and knowledge of the vast menu. She must have noticed my eyebrow-raising because she smiled and explained her quick decision.

"A friend of mine came here with her boyfriend a couple of weeks and practically threatened my life if I didn't try the veal if ever I came here," she said.

"Oh really? Nice, I haven't had veal in quite some time," I responded.

"You should try it then," she said with wide eyes.

I looked up at the smiling waitress and told her to make that two and handed her my menu. She eagerly took it and hurried off to put in our orders. The restaurant was pretty empty. The quiet combined with the soft music playing in the background produced the perfect couple's dinner environment I have been a part of in a long time. I was beginning to like the place. I wondered for a moment if this might someday become _our _place.

I looked back across the table at Shea and found that she had been staring at me the entire time. She reached over it and took my hand between hers and began drawing small circles with her finger in my palm. She smiled again.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing"

"You're all smiley tonight. It's probably the most that I've seen your teeth in full display since I met you," I said.

She chuckled.

"Well maybe my teeth like you. They're just going off of what the rest of me is feeling. You…you are somewhat like a dream come true. I don't want to boost your man ego but you're almost too good to be actually real," she said.

"Hmm, well I get that a lot. Every girl I bring here says the same thing. It's kind of weird, must be the restaurant," I joked.

She burst out laughing this time covering her mouth as to not disturb the ambience for the other couples enjoying their meal.

"And you're funny. You're the perfect package. I am so glad that I found you," her voice trailed off with the last part of what she said and she kind of looked away as she said it as if a little embarrassed.

"Well my lady, I am glad that I found you too. I actually take full credit for that. I was the one that approached you. That took a lot," I said.

"Oh, did it? I happen to think that I am a very approachable person," she retorted.

"Not saying that you aren't. You did turn out to be slightly less intimating than I had originally thought. But I can't just walk up to women and try to talk to them. Never could. Doing it with you was a very, no, make that extremely rare occurrence. I was literally forcing my feet forward as I walked up to you," I explained.

"Oh, I didn't know that. I mean it was pretty obvious that you were nervous and hadn't really thought the whole thing out. It was kind of funny to be honest. I wanted to laugh but that would have been mean," she replied laughing along with her response.

"Laugh? Really? Wow, you're such a meanie. Nah, I had a feeling that you wanted to. I was uber-nervous. If that makes any sense. I had no idea what to say, how to go about saying it and I expected you to just turn back around and completely ignore me," I said.

"Oh, I thought about it. But I thought it was cute how unprepared you were. So I figured you deserved a chance. Plus I had been checking you out a little earlier," she admitted.

"Really? I had no idea," I said.

"Yup, we females are experts at discretion. I thought you were cute and I caught you looking over at me a couple times so I half expected you to come over and say something," she said.

"Not surprised at you being able to conceal it so well. You guys are very good at that sort of thing," I replied.

"Usually I just dismiss any advances from guys because they are so obnoxious and full of themselves. I catch them staring at my butt or my boobs or something, it's such a turn-off. I don't think they quite understand how many points they lose right off the bat for that. It's pretty sad that they haven't realized it yet," she explained.

"So what made me so different?" I asked.

"Well, you were staring too, ha ha. But you were staring at me. It was funny because you seemed as if you were in awe or something. Like you had never seen a girl before," she said. She began to laugh again to the point where she had to cover her face. "I'm sorry Patrick, I'm not laughing at you, I just remember the look on your face when you finally came over and said hi. I really wanted to laugh but I could tell you meant well," she added.

She was forcing back her laughter by now trying to explain the story. I could feel my face begin to heat up like I was turning red with embarrassment. I remember exactly what she was talking about. I had froze when I first approached her. I _was_ in awe, total and complete awe of her. I didn't know what to do at the time. She finally got through her laughing spell and looked at me again. All I could do is smile again.

"You were, you were very cute. I couldn't turn you down. I thought you were just pretending to be so innocent and interested in me at first but now I know you were being very sincere and that is really how you are. It's rare to find a _real_ guy nowadays. One that isn't afraid to just be themselves and put their all into a relationship," she said.

"Wow, well that's all good stuff to know about myself. I actually haven't put much thought into how I act. I figured if someone doesn't like me for me then oh well," I said.

"Exactly"

The waitress brought us our food and lit a candle that was sitting on the table between us. I hadn't even noticed it before. Wonder what I was distracted by. As we ate and talked, I noticed the candle light dancing around in her eyes. It reminded me how it danced the same way during our first date at my apartment. We washed down our veal, which was very good by the way, with some wine and got some dessert to go. I paid the check and escorted her arm in arm back to my car.

"Oh! I forgot to stop by the market and pick up something to take for lunch tomorrow," I remembered out loud as we pulled into her complex. "Oh well, I guess I'll just grab some fast food during the afternoon or something"

"No, you should eat healthy. I can tell that you take pretty good care of your body and I, well, appreciate that, a lot," she giggled to herself. "Go to the market and get yourself some cold cuts to make a sandwich with. You're physique will thank you and so will I"

"Ok, when you put it like that. On my way to the market right now," I replied.

"Good"

I walked her upstairs and we stopped by her front door. Before she even pulled her keys out of her purse, she turned around and wrapped her arms around my neck. I placed my hands firmly on her hips. She looked up at me for a second before pulling my lips to hers. We stood there kissing for a good while. I began to wonder if either of us had bothered to take a breath but I didn't care. I loved kissing her; it made everything else melt away. At this point, her and her lips were the only thing that mattered. I wrapped her in my arms and pulled her even closer to me. Feeling her body in my arms once again felt like it was the first time I had ever touched her.

We finally pulled away and she thanked me for the evening. She opened her door, stepped inside and looked back at me once more before closing it behind her. I returned to my car wondering if maybe I should have pressed the issue a little further. The issued being whether or not I should have accompanied her inside and finished what we started the night before. I didn't want to chance having her think that that was all I wanted from her tonight. I shrugged off the feeling reassuring myself that there would be other chances.

I traveled to the market, hoping that it was still open. Luckily it was so I walked straight to the deli, requested my sandwich material, paid for it and got back in my car. When I returned home, the feeling that I had when I first departed Shea's place returned. Why did I leave? I wanted her so bad and I knew she wanted me. The emotion that filled my heart for her had traveled to other places in my body and in full effect. I picked up my phone, considering calling her and asking if I could possibly come back. But I stopped myself. If there was a window for me to return to her place, it was surely closed by now.

Disappointed in my hesitance, I grabbed my sandwich meat, got out of my car and began to walk to my apartment. As I got closer I noticed a figure sitting on the steps that led up to my front door. It was wearing sweat pants and a hoodie with the hood pulled up over their head so I couldn't really see their face. Nearing even closer, I could tell that they were sitting next to what seemed like a duffel bag. By now, I was beginning to wonder if maybe they had the wrong address or something. When I got right up to the stairs, they finally noticed me and instantly stood up. They pulled their hood off and I could see her face clearly now. She was smiling gingerly and kind of looking down. She looked out at me, the street light shining in her face, and peered into my eyes.

"Hi Patrick,"

_To be continued…_


	11. Chapter 13

'Another Chance' Café…part 13

Without hesitation, I dropped my sandwich meat, gently cupped her face with my hands and pulled her towards me. I'm sure I don't have to tell you who it was that was waiting for me to get home. Our lips interlocked with such fierceness that our teeth clicked together at first. But we didn't care and paid no attention to this as we continued our embrace. It felt as though I moved her entire body by holding her head. Judging from the way she was kissing me back, I knew that either I had not hurt her or she was ignoring any pain she might be feeling. I released her face and completely wrapped my arms around her waist engulfing her in everything me. Our heads alternated twisting back and forth as our lips connected over and over again. Finally, after one last slow kiss, we pulled away from each other and just looked into the other's eyes.

"Hi," she giggled. "Miss me?"

"No, not at all, this is how I greet all of my unexpected guests," I answered.

She giggled again and I kissed her once more. I released her, picked up my sandwich meat and grabbed her bag which were both sitting on the stairs beneath us. She turned around and walked up the steps ahead of me. As she waited for me to unlock my door, she watched me intently with a steady grin on her face that she was trying desperately to conceal but was failing miserably at it. I took out my keys and opened the door.

"After you," I said.

She stepped inside and I followed turning on the light in the living room. She walked over to the couch and sat on the edge of it as if preparing to stand up again very soon. Yeah, it was safe to say she knew exactly what was coming. The same "what" that she came over here for. I wasted no time putting my meat in the fridge and removing my shoes. After which, I made a b-line straight for her and hoisted her up off of the couch which yielded a soft yelp of surprise from her. I threw her over my shoulder, turned off the living room light and carried her, laughing with delight, into my bedroom. Without bothering to turn on any of the lights in there, I placed her on the bed and immediately found my target which was her lips. She responded with pulling me on top of her by grabbing my shirt. She placed her hands over my ears as we intensely continued to kiss.

I felt her trying to push me to the side so I allowed her to roll me over so she was now on top. She sat up and went straight for my belt, unbuckling it. As she unbuttoned my pants and began to unzip them, I could faintly see a smile on her face through the darkness. Before completely unzipping my pants, she pushed my shirt up and pulled it over my head and tossed into the dark that surrounded us. She pulled me towards her so that I was sitting up and we were face to face. She kissed me and I could once again feel and taste her tongue inside of my mouth. I then found the spot on her neck that worked wonders the night before. Her breathing instantly hastened and she made an "ohh" sound. That combined with the way she pushed my face further into the corner of her neck let me know how much she liked it. I twisted and turned my tongue in every direction I could manage along her neck eventually causing her to moan and giggle at the same time. She pulled away with a smile.

"That tickles Patrick…but I like it," she said softly.

I gave her a quick kiss on the lips and returned to her spot of delight. She once again constricted her hands around the back of my head pushing it more and more into her neck. I grabbed the bottom of her sweatshirt and pulled it off of her also throwing it somewhere to be claimed by the darkness. She was wearing a t-shirt under it which I also quickly removed and went to work on doing away with her bra. After making it a recent memory, I cradled her breast in my hands while still focusing on her neck. Multi-tasking never seemed so wonderful.

She placed her hands on my shoulders and pushed me back down on the bed. She then began to blaze a trail led by her tongue from my lips down to my chest. She paused there for a while again rubbing her hands back and forth all over it. The smoothness of her hands against my skin made me tingle a bit. Normally tingling is not a sensation that I am proud to admit but this was Shea here, so I don't care. Her tongue continued its route down to my stomach where it seemed like she planned on running it through every groove and over every square inch of flesh that covered it. Finally her travels took her to my unzipped pants where she sat up again to pull them off. She also relieved me of my boxer shorts before returning her lips back to mine.

I grabbed her and quickly flipped her over to pull off her sweatpants. Really beginning to feel all of the passion and feelings I had for her start to come out of me, I didn't dawdle in taking her panties off either. I even ripped both of our socks off before taking a second to gently kiss the top of her feet. She seemed to like it because she didn't pull away as I half expected this to tickle her as well. I ran my tongue up along her leg paying close attention to her inner thigh. I remembered how much she loved it before and the second time around didn't let me down either. Her entire body shivered as she squirmed in place on the bed. Being sure not to discriminate against her other leg, I included it in my tongue tracing. Even more of a response from her. I suddenly became very proud of myself in being able to pleasure the girl whom I held so dear to my heart.

My tongue found her belly button and her hands found my head once more. Running her fingers through my hair and moving her body along with the way that I was scouring her stomach with my mouth, she "hmmm'ed" a little to herself. I pressed upward and discovered her nipples first including them in my tongue tracing and then simply wrapping my lips around them, paying attention to one breast with my mouth while continuously rubbing the other with my hand. Her hands were back and forth between holding my head and covering her face. Her breathing was like the roar of a crowd to me, cheering me on. Pushing me forward, willing me towards a win.

Not being able to take it anymore, I returned to her lips. This time using my tongue to trace the inside of her mouth. It was like our tongues were making out as well. She ran her hands along my back softly but tightly clutched it as I inserted myself inside of her. She quietly moaned "Oh my gosh" and then bit her bottom lip as if trying to keep quiet. Her clutching hands changed into digging fingernails as our bodies moved in time to one another. Ignoring the pain in my back, I continued to thrust inside of her with all intention of being gentle pretty much vacant at this moment. Her nails in my back only egged me on. Knowing that she was enjoying me this much kind of made up for all of the past happenings. The uncertainty of want she wanted with me, the kiss with her ex-boyfriend, everything. It all faded away and the only thing that mattered right this moment was what was happening in my bedroom.

She finally removed her nails from being embedded within the skin on my back and instead grabbed the sheets beneath us. I could feel her pulling on them with all of her might. Her breathing was the fastest it had been at this point. Her moans became louder and louder with each thrust and every movement. I grabbed the top edge of the bed to give myself more leverage to push deeper inside of her. When I did that, she arched her back like she was trying to escape and let out a sound of startling surprise; "uh-uh-uhh-oohhhh". The "oh's" got louder and more intense as I pushed onward until her entire body tensed up all at once and she was as stiff as a board for a couple of seconds. My pride rose a bit more as I realized what had just happened. She lay under me for a second with her eyes closed just kind of twitching slightly with her hands holding her chest. Almost scared to touch her, I withdrew myself and began kissing her all over very gently and very slowly. Her body twitched a little every time my lips touched her skin.

"Are you ok?" I asked her.

"Huh? Uh, yeah, I'm fine," she replied out of breath. "Ok, keep going"

With a smile, I gladly obliged. Cradling her in my arms, I picked her up and put her back on top of me. She instantly re-inserted me inside of her and slowly began to grind back and forth. I could actually feel her hips twisting and turning on top of me like some kind of a sexy dance routine. She put both of hands on my chest and slid them upward until they were grabbing my shoulders. Leaning forward slightly, she began bouncing up and down. Her pace quickened with every rebound. Sounds of our flesh hitting one another overflowed the room but were soon drowned out by her even louder moans of pleasure. I grabbed her hips and started pushing her up and down even faster than she was doing it before. Her moans turned into screams and howls. All crammed with bliss and gratification. At one point, I sat straight up and held her close as to prevent her from falling off of the bed. It was like I lost all control and went into a sort of animalistic state trying to fulfill the both of our needs. Wild and crazy to say the least.

As I held her close, my mouth found her breasts again and she grabbed my arms with a force that I hadn't felt from her before. She threw her head back whipping her hair all about which made her look even hotter, if that was even possible at this point. Her hands then moved their clutch of death to the back my neck. They kind of cut off my air supply for a second but needless to say, I really didn't notice. We returned to grinding our bodies against each other which sent her into an absolute frenzy.

"Ooh, oh, yes, yeah, yeeaah" she screamed out over and over. Although, there was next to no space left between us, she wrapped her entire arms around my neck this time and tightened her hold pulling me into her even closer. Her mouth was right next to my ear at this point and I could hear every syllable of her pleasure. All of a sudden I felt a sharp pain on my earlobe and realized that she was biting me. Wow! Didn't peg her for a biter, but I now have the dental evidence on my ear to prove that she is. She released it only to utter three words out loud;

"Ohh My Gooosh!"

Her body tensed up again, even more than it did last time and we slowed back down to a nice steady pace. That was number two. Not stopping this time to ask if she was ok, I got up off of the bed and carried her over to the nearest wall. I held her up against it and went right back to work. She was still clutching my neck and her breathing began to speed up yet again. She threw her head back again but this time the back of it met the side of the wall with a thud. Before I could check to see if she was ok, she instructed me to, "please, don't stop". I followed her orders and pressed on. Now placing my arms under each of her legs and holding her upright against the wall, I thrusted and pulled her against me in unison slamming into her with each "smack" more intense than the one before it. She let go of me and held her arms up against the wall. I could see her face vividly now with the moonlight glowing through my window falling upon it perfectly. Her hair was sticking to her sweaty face, her eyes were closed and her mouth seemed as if it was impossible for her to close it even if she tried. I could feel her breath hitting me as I continued to pull her back and forth into me.

I pulled her away from the wall, now holding onto her by her butt and she wrapped her legs around me. We stood in a vertical love-making position for quite a while kissing, hugging and grinding before my legs could hold the both of us no longer. I carried her back towards the bed and laid her down at the edge while I remained standing. I placed both of her legs on each one of my shoulders and grabbed her waist to pull her back and forth into me. She grabbed onto the sheets for dear life and then took hold of my hands which were still on her hips. After a minute or two, her climatic moans escaped her lips again and she arched her back high off of the bed and went as stiff as the wall we just used for our surface of passion. "Ohhh, ohhhhhh Patrick!" Number three and she called out my name. This was sheer excellence. It really was. Letting her legs lay to each side of me, I then leaned on top of her and slid my hands under her back and gripped her shoulders with them. I kissed her gently before drawing her back and forth into me with some real force behind it. She stiffened up her legs and her nails found a place in my back again.

Not too long after I started, I began to get that feeling. You know the feeling that I'm talking about. Feeling like a jolt of electricity is about to shoot through your body and your "cup" is about to spill over at the same time. I slowed my pace a little and I think she was able to tell what was going on. While still panting quite heavily herself, she removed her nails from my back and placed one hand on my cheek and looked into my eyes briefly before kissing me passionately. I finally reached that point of no return, so I pulled myself out of her and climaxed on the sheet under us. It was then that I realized how sweaty I was myself. She was still gulping mouthfuls of air and twitching a little. I picked her up and ripped the stained sheet off of the bed and then carried and laid her down at the top of it.

Luckily the comforter had fallen onto the floor and was still clean enough for us to use. I retrieved it, climbed into the bed next to her and covered us both up. She scooted closer to me and we kissed a couple of times before she laid her head on my chest. I put my arm around her and held her close. I found it sort of ironic that she was lying on the side of my chest where my heart was. After that cardio session, I'm sure she could hear it beating pretty hard. I began stroking her hand along my chest and I did the same along the side of her face.

"That was…fantastic Patrick," she said in almost a whisper. "I, uh, didn't know it would be like that"

"Well, to be honest, me neither," I responded. "Just sort of came out, I guess. Oh, by the way, glad you came over"

She giggled.

"Me too, if you didn't guess by now, me insisting on you going to the market was part of my master plan," she explained. "I never knew I could move so fast. I had to change my clothes and drive over here before you got back. I'm actually rather proud of myself"

"I kind of figured you planned this. You're a sneaky one"

She giggled again.

"I know"

Before we knew it, we were both drifting off. But I wasn't surprised. Great sex will do that to you. Put you right out. The cuddling afterwards with her made the night complete. Although we were both moist from perspiration and well, other bodily fluids, her body laying on mine felt great. She still even smelled wonderful. This was our first "time" and night together. I would surely savor this evening and this very moment for a very long time to come. Still not completely sure, but I suppose it was safe to say after the time we had spent together and now this, we could probably consider each other a couple. But I suppose that uncertainty could be discussed at another time. I was sleepy now and I finally had the woman of my dreams to share that sleep with.

To be continued…


End file.
